July 16, 2005

• First things first, I never said I was quitting blogging. What I meant was it might be the last time that I had an opportunity to blog given the current circumstances. Well, for what it’s worth, I finally got a decent job. Sunday is orientation, so I have no clue how I feel about the job. I do know that I already spent a quarter of a Ben Franklin getting ready for it and am in desperate need for a few more items. We shall see what it’s like at the bottom of the month. Speaking of money, the commercial that I helped shoot…I don’t think I’ll see any money off of that because the company they were going to advertise with screwed them over. Speaking of screwing over, shit rolled downhill on the porgramming contract. I have a few hours the he’s going to allow me to bill, but in the meantime he needs contracts which, while not guaranteed, means that I’ll have some more programming work.

  To address a list of items that a friend had giving me for improving my life, I will expound on my strategies for each.

  1. Yes, I know that school is important. Yes, I do want to finish and get my degree. But the truth of the matter is I don’t really care to deal with the system even though I’ll miss it. The only reason to attempt to appeal Fin Aid right now is to keep the loans in deferment, but that is only holding back the inevitable. I do want to get a degree from UAH in the CS department because it will seem to me that I will have yet another black mark on my record i.e. another non-accomplishment

  2. True, the job doesn’t make the man, the man makes the job. Perhaps a job is just a means to an end. Perhaps I am just prideful. Nevertheless, I do believe that I will be infinitely happier with the new job. Although we discussed it, I do believe that I will quit the theater as soon as that little item gets cleared up. (DON’T MENTION IT HERE!) It’s just politics, you see. I’ve already initiated the process, so it’d be silly to leave in the middle. Either way it’s gonna be messy, but it does need to be dealt with because I know that I’m not the only one and that the silent treatment is the preferred method of dealing with people they can’t stand but who get the job done without too much manipulation.

  3. I don’t think I need to say too much on this one. My only question to you is what cologne to do you recommend? I had someone recommend Curve. Thoughts? On second thought, what further improvements do I need in this department?

  And now we come to the part where…

  — My best friend broke up with his girlfriend and moved out of town today.
  — I found out this week that a good friend of mine was committed to psych ward.
  — Still no support from base camp. Thinking about moving it permanently.
  — Spending money to make money equates to not having any money to meet your financial obligations.
  — I’m sick and tired of window shopping for Butterfly. Yes, she is the most beautiful thing I’ve seen on a constant basis, but well, there’s just too much politics involved, though I think that there might be a silver lining in the cloud. My only fear is that there will be repercussions due to reparations for the repudiative decisions made by the powers that be.
  — I need to wash clothes before Sunday but don’t have the time or money to go to the laundromat.
  — I need thirty-six (36) hours in a day.
  — Blue Portal’s fate hangs in the balance.
  — I’m starting to feel overwhelmed by life, but I think I finally know what it means to live it vs. being alive.

  Poem for the Day:

  Nothing Gold Can Stay
  by Robert Frost

  Nature’s first green is gold,
  Her hardest hue to hold.
  Her early leaf’s a flower;
  But only so an hour.
  Then leaf subsides to leaf.
  So Eden sank to grief,
  So dawn goes down to day.
  Nothing gold can stay.

  • 2:56 am
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