September 10, 2005

• RICKY

  It was one of those days where it’s a minute away from snowing, and there’s this electricity in the air. You can almost hear it. And this bag was just dancing with me, like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. That’s the day I realized that there’s this entire life behind things, and this incredibly benevolent force wanted me to know that there was no reason to be afraid—ever. Video’s a poor excuse I know, but it helps me remember. I need to remember.

  Sometimes there’s so much beauty I feel like I can’t take it. And my heart is just going to cave in.

  Dan, you’re absolutely right. It’s time to create. It’s time to let go of all that pent up energy. Time to be motivated by all the emotional baggage and re-channel it into something productive. But first, one more venting.

  So I’m in more trouble. I keep looking for the credit card statement to come in, but it never did. Finally the email came. However, it came yesterday and said that payment was due tomorrow. The earliest I could make the payment was on Monday per their convenient pay-online bullshit website, so now I have a $39 late fee that will be added to the card.

  On top of that, I got a ticket the other day. The citation is for, and I quote, “Reasonable and Prudent Speed.” Huh! Ok, now before you go off on the deep end on me, let me explain that I was on my way from the dorms because I was listening to Chris’ woman problems. Actually, they weren’t really problems, but that’s more information than what needs to be divulged to tell the story. So I was cutting across campus with no one around so that I wouldn’t have to deal with all the traffic lights on the road parallel. Needless to say, this was a costly mistake.

  When I got the citation, the first thing I noticed was that the officer had the wrong social security number on the ticket, and that he hadn’t followed the directions that say, and again I quote, “Ask if motorist’s address is correct on driver’s license.” He didn’t ask me anything. Furthermore, he didn’t clock me. If he did, he didn’t write down the clocked speed on the ticket.

  There is some salvation in all of this. He’s a night cop, and the time that records wants me in court is 9 in the morning. Hopefully he’ll be exhausted from the previous shift and won’t show up. But of course that’s not my luck. What I can’t figure out is when they tried to ding me for not having insurance, traffic court was at 5 in the evening. Go figure!

  Work was bitching at me the other day because my shirt wasn’t ironed. Come on people, it’s a fucking wrinkle-free shirt. Jesus! And no, I don’t have the $12 to go buy the iron, just like I don’t have the $4 to go buy deodorant or the $10 to buy razor blades. There’s no food in the pantry, but that’s ok too because I need to loose some weight. For Christ’ sake, I went up two waist sizes in the past two years because I can’t keep the goddamned pie hole shut. Oh yeah, there’s exactly $100 in the bank and payday is next Friday. Court is the following Tuesday. Chances are good that there won’t be enough money in the checkbook to pay the ticket, so I’ll be incarcerated. That’s all well and good, considering that I’ll be out of work for that much longer.

  Will Pumblechook lift a finger to help in this nonchalant daily bumbling? Hell no, and for good reason too. He’s got crises of his own. He’s had to repair the air conditioner in the van three times in the past thirty days because, well, you know how grumpy and cranky old people get when they get hot. Oh yeah, he’s done the same with the lawnmower too. Where’s a good mechanic when you need one? They’ve also killed two cell phones in the process, both of which cost $150 to replace. Damn not having paid that $4/mo insurance! Oh well.

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  We had our Katrina benefit car wash at Cracaroni Grill today. No one got their car washed and business was in the toilet. The whole time I was standing there holding the sign, I kept seeing images in my head. But this time, it wasn’t the final film. I was seeing description. I was hearing paragraph after paragraph describing the setting for various locations, various actions. It made me want to write again.

  A fellow co-worker decided to have a cigarette. Don’t know why, but I bummed one. The first drag and I immediately calmed down. I had no clue that I was that stressed. Shortly thereafter, I left, came home, and finished the pack that was sitting on the counter. And this is after being smoke free for a month. Cigarettes work wonders my friends.

  So I’m thinking to myself that if the schedule isn’t good when it comes out for next week (after voicing my great need for exorbitant amounts of cash in the next short time period) as soon as the stitches come out, I’ll go down to IHOP and take the job. Who cares if I don’t get sleep? Sleep is overrated anyway.

  One last thought: I bumped into someone in the mall that I know from school. He and his fiancée are getting married December 16th. I asked if they had anyone to tape the wedding and they said that they did not. Hopefully we’ll pick up that project too besides the big event that we’re still waiting to hear back on so we can make our bid. Haven’t heard from the Arte yet, but something tells me I will soon. Oh, and I just got a phone call and someone wants a website.

  A bird in the hand….

  • 2:23 pm
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