From the IMDB boards:

This is amazing!

On the one hand, liberals tell us that Bush is an incompetent nut who is completely incapable of tying his own shoes, much less running the country…..

Then, the same liberals tell us that Bush (1) knew about 9/11, (2) never let on the fact to the rest of the world, and (3) acted “surprised” when he “heard” the news.

One second, he is a nincompoop incapable of reading a simple speech; the next second, he is a master thespien who can give an Oscar-quality performance.

Which is it?

For Bush to have known about 9/11 in advance implies that either (1) he was part of some grand conspiracy to bring down the towers, or (2) the CIA told him in advance that such was about to happen.

The latter option is unrealistic. After all, isn’t the CIA an incompentently run agency that always messes up intelligence?

As for Bush conspiring to bring down the towers… Don’t you remember his tears the next day when he spoke to the press? You may say, “He was acting…” But doesn’t that go back to my original point…

Either Bush is an incompetent nimwit, or he is an evil genius. Make up your mind.

Are speed limits an imposition on freedom?

Are my posts too overbearing/overwelming to merit large amounts of comments?

Where to start? I think I’m making progress…perhaps I’m just now catching the Tao of life. I’ll have to tell you about Monday. Lots of good, interesting things happened on Monday. Before we get there, I have a few news items.

Advances made on A Film Noir Short
Stay tuned to http://lockandkeyfilms.wordpress.com/ for the latest news about the project. A major wave of script revisions should be complete by the end of the week, thus expediting the move into pre-production. We appreciate your support. Simply voice yourself on the forum. You can also see the director’s storyboards here.

The Two Best Asses in the World

ehowton

drax0r

No, these are not links to pictures of Jenna Jamenson’s ass. Rather, these are the guys who pulled off the best social engineering hack to date. I can’t do it any more justice describing it then Howton did. Read about it here

Random Tidbits.
Hey guys: sick and tired of feeling like you’re going to be watched in the men’s room? Check out this story and see how you feel.

I’ve had coffee in the morning for four consecutive days now…haven’t done that in over a year.

I have seriously contemplated buying shorts.

A lot of people have told me that I should get a dog. I don’t like house animals. I don’t want my stuff torn up. I don’t want shit on the carpet. I don’t want to smell it 24/7. I don’t want fur all over the place. I don’t want to care for it.

I have considered buying a King Cobra as a pet, however.

Thought for the Day
Freedom of the press is limited to those who own one.

What life lessons can we learn from this image?

More Blathering about the Future
Despite Howton’s claim that I “blabber horseshit”, I have thought about this fall some more. Here’s what I’ve concluded: I will study XML, advanced topics in Java, and Perl in that order, enroll in a few classes in the fall, and work on A Film Noir Short. During all of that, I also plan to work on a script or two with the great Slandingo. The idea is this: I can go back to school and still avail myself to film projects, thus leaving both doors open.

Monday, Monday, can’t trust that day
For those of you who didn’t know, Monday is my day off. Unlike other days off here lately, this Monday was a blast. First of all, I never got any sleep Sunday. Don’t know why, I just lacked the will to go to bed. Reggie called me around 0700 and wanted me to follow him to the shop so he could get the car I hate so much fixed. Returned and then decided I wanted a good breakfast, so I cruised out to Madison and had breakfast at Cracker Barrel. From there, it was back to Huntsvegas.

Went to good ol’e Wolly World to get the oil changed and to get new tires. They didn’t have my tires in stock, so I opted for just the oil change. Had to wait somewhere between 45 min and 1.5 hours for this simple task be completed. So I shopped in their lovely little store. That was a trip, let me tell you.

This chick, Marla Singer did not have testicular cancer.
First of all, they were remodeling, but it wasn’t quite apparent when you walked in. Now I walked in the back, a place of the store that I never go. The walls were all this dingy beige (like an old lady’s sweater beige) and the shelves were scattered. Now, remember that I hadn’t slept Sunday night. I thought I had walked on the set of Requiem for a Dream. Whilst walking around the non-cohesive store, I texted back and forth with this troublemaker. Wound up purchasing a copy of Band of Brothers.

Mallrats!
So I went to the mall. This normally wouldn’t have been the ideal thing for me to do, but it was my day off. No, I did not take Jesse’s advice that I go to Cool Springs, TN, despite the fact that I’ve been bitching about wanting to get out of the State and take a roadtrip. NOTE: I am planning on taking an extended roadtrip in the near future. Went and talked to a buddy in the futon store. I was going to go see a manager at a closing novelty store. She wasn’t in. Instead, I made a friend with yet another manager there. She does page layout stuff. We got to talking. I offered to give her a copy of the Adobe suit as well as show her a few tricks. She’s yet to email me about it.

Given a long enough timeline, everyone’s survival rate drops to zero.
I then bumped into a family friend that I hadn’t seen in years. Come to find out, her parents are snubbing her about as bad as mine are, though they still talk to her and lover her. Hell, they are even talking about giving her a house.

From there, I went back to the futon store and shot the shit some more. Went up to the bookstore, but they didn’t have any books on XML, so I went to Barns and Nobles. And bought Sams Teach Yourself XML in 21 Days, Third Edition. My reading list for XML is as follows (in order that they will be read.)

Sams Teach Yourself XML in 21 Days, Third Edition

Mastering XML Premium Edition

C++ XML

This is your life and it’s ending one minute at a time.
After B&N, I came home and crashed. Tried to get a hold of some friends to go putt putting, but couldn’t get them. Napped for a couple of hours, then went to Jones Valley to see the new Rave theater’s construction site. Picked something up from Chilli’s. Came back and watched the first two episodes of Band of Brothers. Had a Green Apple Sminrnoff to top it all off.

Buy Me Shit Department

EDIT
I went to Kyrstal’s after posting and on the way the check engine light came on. I don’t know what’s wrong. Hope and pray that the extended warranty will cover it.

Photoblogs are for drax0r
Um, I was going to start off by saying that I hope this never happens to you. But it creates a quandary for me. Should I continue to use

DONKEY!

…or should I now resort to

ASS!

The trials of trying to use the perfect imagery. Speaking of trials, some of you might find this funny.

Today I rented

I don’t think I’ll like the second one as much as I did the first. I hate Pansy III

Tyler Durden says:

Use soap.

El Familia es del Infierno.

I have tried everything. But to no avail. I return to the previously made statement: I have no family.

I called the house on Tuesday April 4th. It was agreed that El Famila minus Pumblechook would arrive for an evening of festivities on Monday the 10th. I was instructed to call on Friday the 7th to remind them to not double book. El Madre became ill on Wednesday the 5th. On Friday it was decided that it was still green light for the 10th.

Talked to El Famila three times on the morning of the 10th. Reggie and I spent all morning cleaning the apartment in anticipation for their arrival. Circa 1530, I received a phone call that they would not be coming because they were “too tired.” The claim was that they could make it out on the 17th.

Now then, remember in my last entry that I told you I had a few surprises up my sleeve? Here’s one of them: I spent $61 sending Easter lilies. (Neither Hallmark nor Google have a picture that you can view of them. Bastards.) Now granted, they were sent anonymously, but the text in the card was from Easter Song. After asking around the church, they would have put two and two together.

Well guess what? Here it is Tuesday and I still haven’t gotten a call from them. Not even to make an excuse for yesterday. I will state the question again clearly and concisely: where’s the love?

Tyler Durden says:

You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you. He never wanted you. In all probability, he hates you.

Oh dear. Lots and Lots to talk about. Or ramble about. Or type. Or…I wonder how long I could go on and on like that. I’d probably wind up with lots of comments from whineos. Only time will tell. Kudos to those who catch the triple reference.

d00d, blog sometime, will ya?! That goes for you too.

Take this job and shove it
When I got that call from the temp agency, the bastards woke me up. Two days before the job was supposed to start, I came down with that damned strep/mono/sinus infection. The day before I was due in, they again woke me up, and I was really feeling it. I told them that I would kill for the job. So I called Juanita. The good doctor wouldn’t be available until 1645. Called. He called something in. I went to go pick it up. Also went to TJ Max and spent $136 on clothes because I’m now officially 10 months pregnant. So, the first day goes off without a hitch.

This job isn’t what I expected it to be. I thought it was going to be one of those “why did this board fail” type shit. Turns out, they were moving three buildings into one. Kewl. I show up for Day 2. I report to my boss and ask

ME

What’s the assignment

POINTY-HAIRED BOSS

There isn’t one. Go to the loading dock and help people get their stuff in. Then, when the computers get here on the truck, go distribute them and hook them up.

ME

(thinking to self)

Why do I feel like I just got the short end of the stick?

So needless to say, I did exactly that. ME and the two other temps from the same agency. (To my knowledge, we were the only temps that were temping, but that is yet to be confirmed.) We helped people get their stuff in. Now there was a guy and a girl temping besides me. She had just completed her bachelor’s in MIS (Manager of Information Systems). He had just completed a two year degree and was considering the University of AssHoles and getting a four-year degree in CPE (Computer Enginering). He told me that the previous day, he had to show Miss Degree how to hook up a PC. He even had to show her how to check for an IP address.

So the truck came about 1030. Now you have to understand how the building is laid out. There are two floors with two wings apiece. On the first day, the security had not been turned on. However, on the second day, it had, but no one had their cards because, after all, this was the new building. Each wing is kinda in the shape of a D. There are three hallways in each D (or something like that.) Anyway, the entrance that we had been going through on the first floor was actually one of the secure wings. So we couldn’t get a across to the other wing. And the building was crazy. The numbering scheme was sporadic. You could walk in circles all day.

The computers got distributed and we went to lunch. Came back, and I started hooking up the computers just as I had been told at 0800 that morning. I started on the non-secure wing on the first floor. Flirted with a pretty girl. I don’t know if she was married, but she was defiantly shacking up. But it was nice hooking her stuff up and joking around with her. In fact, while we were waiting for the truck to get there, I was pretending to be Irish utilizing the accent from Sin City. When I finished with the pretty girl, she asked me if I could hook her boss up next. I did.

It took me a good forty-five minutes to finish in that office because she had more stuff then the rest and a lot more cabling. I had a blast with this woman. She was elder, but knew how to have a good time. I took the time rearranging some things so that cables wouldn’t be under foot nor in view. Her printer didn’t want to work right, so I troubleshooted it even though it probably was my PHB’s job.

Now, we had no way to communicate in the building. I.E. if you needed to be tracked down, that was too bad because the phones had just been turned on the day before. The guys in IT had Black Berries. But we were naught but lowly temps. So after I had spent all this time downstairs, I did a thorough check of that wing. All the work down there was done, so I headed upstairs. MEt up with the temps for the second time after lunch. Me and the other guy starting putting things together at lightening speed while Miss Degree just watched in awe. I get a call. It’s from the temp service. I think it’s just a check up. They tell me I’m terminated, effective immediately.

I asked why. They stalled but finally told me that my PHB had called them because he couldn’t find me. Now you have to understand. No one told me that I was being looked for. In fact, I had bumped into PHB several times that day, and he never once asked me to do anything. I almost made conversation several times, but he was busy with the gang trying to get the huge network printers going. They had a rep from Cannon there, so I figured I should be seen and not heard. Don’t mistake that for me saying that I went and hid. I’m just saying I was trying to stay out of his way.

As soon as I get off the phone with the temp service, I track down PHB. I ask him if he knows what’s going on.

ME

I just got a call from the temp service and they said you called and fired me because you couldn’t find me. Do you know anything about this?

PHB

No. You need to talk to HR.

ME

Who’s in HR?

PHB

So and so.

It turns out that so and so was the person I had spent all that time trying to make her life easier! I go track her down.

ME

I got a call from the temp service saying that PHB was looking for me but couldn’t find me. He said you made the call. What’s going on?

GOLDEN GIRL FROM HR

He told me to make the call. I didn’t know that they would terminate you.

ME

I don’t understand. I was told at 0800 to go to the loading dock and help bring the stuff in until the truck got here. Then we were to assemble the computers. That’s exactly what I did, and you can attest to that.

GOLDEN GIRL FROM HR

I’m sorry. There’s nothing I can do for now.

ME

(clearly flustered)

It was a pleasure working with you. I enjoyed it immensely. Tell PHB thanks for the time and that it was a pleasure working with him while it lasted.

GOLDEN GIRL FROM HR

Thanks for getting the printer to work.

ME

You’re welcome.

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
So I went to Madison which is where the temp service is located. They wanted me to fill a time card out so they could pay be and be rid of me. When I got there, I had to wait 10 minutes before anyone came into the lobby. They had three or four incoming phone calls during that time period which, it appeared, went unanswered as they were all hiding in the back. Then she came up front and handed me the timecard as if I were at fault. I mean, let’s look at the situation, shall we?

We were in a building that had a most confusing layout to which maps were not readily available in large supply. There was no direct method of communication. There was no relaying of messages. In short, the person(s) in charge failed to set up a viable communication system. I go fired for doing my job and doing it well, yet those who didn’t know what they were doing (i.e. Miss Degree) were retained and lauded. A black mark was placed on my record because of someone else’s negligence. Recapping, I jeopardized my “permanent” job, went in sick, and spent $136 to be fired for doing my job without any recourse. I swear, I’m a shit magnet.

All the temp service wanted to do was call me on the following Monday, several days after the event to gather my side of the story. This would have probably been a fact-finding mission for the temp service so they’d have more ammo against me.

Pre Pre-production
Last time I ranted about a script that was being pushed production ever so slowly. Well, now there’s a website where you can go to track the progress. Also, you can visit the director’s page here on Xanga No, you cannot beg for an on-screen part because they’ve all been given away already. However, you can supplement the budget.

Bug Collection
Well, the bug collection is growing. First we have Miss Centipede. There’s also Beatle(s), Slug and Katydid. I think you might be a moth; however, time will tell.

El Famila
God, these people get on my nerves. So they (minus Pumblechook) were supposed to come up on Monday. This was arranged the previous Tuesday. During that time, Mrs. Joe became ill. I can deal. But I was told to call on Friday. Which I did. Dubious, but promising. Monday morning, several calls ensue, which set me at peace of mind. Just hours before the planned rendezvous, the expected comes. No el famila. No surprise. Another let down. Many people have said this is just indicative of the situation and that it’s time to throw in the towel or play dirty. We shall see. I have some tricks up my sleeve. I was told maybe Monday after Easter; I’m not holding my breath.

Miss C is no longer in my budget
I have found the cut of cigar to go to: Camacho Toro. Ripped a toenail off tonight that I have been unhappy with for several years. Normalcy returns. I do not have a queen bee in my bug collection as of yet. Never went to Juanita nor to the dentist. In fact, his office never called me. Speaking of not getting any calls, there are only two people who call me on a regular basis these days. I wonder what happened to SB.

I still can’t make my mind up about school and this fall. Maybe I should do film after all. But I still want the degree without having to work for it. And I don’t know what good it would be to have it. Film is so iffy these days. I think I need an additional job. Miami is looking dubious. I hate these cycles. Clothes need washing.

I am lonely. Slandingo says I set my standards too high, but I don’t even have guy friends anymore. I wished people would leave me thought provoking questions so that I’d have something to blog about. Life is difficult and miserable. My futon is coming today, so if anyone wants a twin bed frame with a Sealy Poster-pedic mattress, ya know how to get a hold of me. Ask her if I make a good dog.

Lonely, I'm Mr. Lonely,
I have nobody for my own.
I'm so lonely, I'm Mr. Lonely,
wish I had someone to call on the phone.

I'm a soldier, a lonely soldier,
Away from home through no wish of my own.
That's why I'm lonely, I'm Mr. Lonely,
I wish that I could go back home.

Letters, never a letter,
I get no letters in the mail.
I've been forgotten, yeah, forgotten,
Oh how I wonder how is it I failed.

I'm a soldier, a lonely soldier,
Away from home through no wish of my own.
That's why I'm lonely, I'm Mr. Lonely,
I wish that I could go back home