A man. A legend. A way of life. Learn it, love it, live it. Greetings friends. Special hellos to my newest reader, BlurbzOfABlonde, affectionately known to me as Blurbzy. Btw, also on the news ticker, Stephen has provide us with something of an update of life in Germany as well as with pictures. Check it out. alien_bob had a great post on the No Human Left Behind Act, which, minus a comment from me is very complete.

Domino’s

I know, I know, you’re waiting on the big update. Well, here it is. This post is dedicated to Domino’s who should change their tagline to “We’re in the business of giving away free pizza.” To some of you that might seem harsh and random, but wait till you hear this.

For those of you who don’t know, Domino’s went public a while back (for those of you in Juanita, that means they are now being traded publicly on the stock market), but they have been in a slump ever since. I keep holding the story, I guess, because I’m hoping that it will have a happy ending but the longer I hold, the better it gets. Already, I’ve called it several times and I’m going to continue to be right when it comes to Domino’s.

Okay, here’s the deal: there was this big (at least to Domino’s anyway) internet poll that got posted a couple of months ago that got all the big wigs in a tizzy. According to the poll, Domino’s ranked dead last in customer service compared to all the other major pizza delivery companies. One must wonder, “how can this be?” given that one of Domino’s taglines is “The Pizza Delivery Experts”. Well, I’ve dome some behind the scenes investigating, and I have to tell you folks, it gets worse before there’s hope that it will get better.

What is Domino’s Customer Service Policy?
Domino’s customer policy is simple: appease, appease, appease. If you don’t like the pizza that they deliver to you, you call ‘em up, complain, and they’ll bring another pie right to your door. They may even let you keep the original pie, irregardless of whether or not there’s anything wrong with the pizza. In fact, if you complain and whine and moan and groan and bitch long enough, loud enough, they may even refund your money either in cash or as a gift certificate and send out a fresh pie.

Of course, if there is a legitimate problem, this seems to be a reasonable policy. However, most people’s concerns aren’t legitimate other then they’re hungry and didn’t get enough to eat. The classic line is, “You got the order wrong.” which usually comes from the same people who couldn’t figure out what they wanted or what special to get. Just because the customer is always right and the company has a KY fetish doesn’t mean that you can run a successful business based on this model. Add to this the fact that the software is written for the dumbest person on the planet by the next-to-the-dumbest person on the planet and you have chaos. In fact, let’s dwell here a moment.

Domino’s the Brilliant
Not more than a year and a half ago, Domino’s decided it was time to modernize and finally get on a computer system that would allow for better flow of information from the stores to the local cooperate offices. Originally, the IT contract was given to a small company called IBM who purportedly had several year’s experience with such highly esoteric and technical things such as databases and servers. IBM decided that their entry point to this problem would be to create the user interface. That is to say, the first thing they did was make pretty buttons and create a system that even the dumbest among us could use.

While quite pleased with the pretty, shinny buttons, Domino’s, in all it’s wisdom, decided that the task of the back end or the database part of the project, (the place where all the data is stored, such as the orders) was far beyond the capabilities of IBM of purported database and server experience. Seeking out the best and the brightest, Domino’s felt that only NTN could shoulder the burden.

That’s right folks! The National Trivia Network was given the awesome responsibility of creating a database and getting it to work across a network. For those of you who don’t recall right off who National Trivia Network is, I’ll help jog the memory. Have you ever been to a bar, or perhaps a TGI Friday’s? You know those trivia questions that appear on the TVs hanging in the corner? The same people who brought you your trivia while you wait for you food now provides the backbone for The Delivery Expert’s Pont-of-Sale or POS software. Thank God we didn’t have to wait around to see what kind of a hoax IBM was gonna pull. Could you imagine how well their software would work? Neither can I.

Domino’s the Cool
Okay, so Daddy Domino’s gives away free pizza at the first scent of trouble, bends over backwards for you, have the lowest prices in the pizza business and will even do a song and dance upon request. What’s not to like about them? Why do they rank dead last in customer service? The simplest explanation is sometimes the correct one as is the case here: they hassle you before you get a free pizza from them and some managers are even taking a stand against ginning away free pizza.

The damnedest thing about it all is that corporate can’t figure out why their sales are so low. Low sales, of course, don’t bide well with stockholders, creating a unique problem: Domino’s can’t attract new investors and so the company can’t perform the much-needed overhaul. When this news originally reached my ears, my suggestion was to charge rich people double for their pizza so that Domino’s can continue to give pizza away to poor and oppressed peoples. I even suggested they take inspiration from Hoover’s campaign by taking the slogan, “Two cars in every garage and a pizza on every table.” The idea was to sell the idea to their stockholders that they were feeding the masses despite corporate corruption at the highest levels. Perhaps they could even run commercials similar to those who ask you to adopt a starving African kid.

No sooner had this free advice left my lips then Cool Daddy Domino’s did me one better: they decided to create the illusion that they were going to give away even more free pizza. However, they had a small problem to overcome, one that called for a monstrous demonstration of marketing.

XLP (not to be confused with the beloved Windows XP) to battle King Kong
Rival pizza maker Papa Johns pulled a fast one on good ol’ Daddy Domino’s: it released a 16″ pizza called the King Kong. Of course, Papa Johns had the full support of Universal and Peter Jackson’s Kong. The one-topping XLP, retailing for $9.99, was cheaper then the large one topping pizza at $12.68. This was Daddy Domino’s secret weapon to combat the evil Kong. While it made the ordering process easier on everyone involved, it nevertheless resulted in even more free pizza being given away. Having defeated the King Kong pizza, Domino’s was ready to launch it’s next secret weapon, the Hot or Free sticker.

That’s right ladies in gentlemen. In an attempt to get stockholders, Daddy Domino’s wanted to create a monopoly on the pizza market. The idea with the hot or free sticker was to create a nation wide media campaign that convinced people they could get something for nothing. In other words, Domino’s was hoping that every man, woman, boy and child would order pizza hoping to see a black dot and get a free pie. This, however, backfired badly. Ultimately, the hot or free sticker would be called the hot and free sticker.

The Hot and Free Guarantee
Firstly, when the stickers ship to the stores, they are on the spool backwards; that is to say, as you pull the roll towards you, the top of the sticker is closer to your body then the bottom, so when you peel it to apply to box tops, the sticker has to be turned 180º. Add to this that the TV advertising campaign was so lackluster, it forced each Customer Service Representative who took an order to explain the program, often times being cut off mid sentence. Then there was the whole question of when it applies; oddly enough, only a handful of people called an hour or so after they had gotten their pizza complaining that the sticker had turned black.

Three weeks after the introduction of the hot and free sticker, Domino’s had conducted an informal company-wide poll who’s results showed that less then 100% of CSRs were explaining the program, ditto drivers not properly displaying upon delivery.

On the announcement of the concept, Yours Truly claimed that there would be major losses due to rip-offs; oddly enough, business seemed to continue as usual. While I’ve discussed the story a couple of times with Howton (who now owes me a post on the Internet debacle) I keep holding and holding. But a big “see. I told you so” was just around the corner.

The Hot and Free Guarantee turns cold
No sooner had the stickers arrived in the store for a trial period then a nightmarish hell was unleashed: a mechanism for rolling shit downhill. I called this nearly two moths ahead of the curve. My whole complaint against the system was that they would keep track of the drivers who wound up giving away the pizza under a system that they created which doesn’t work. The driver would be the scapegoat…until the fired too many drivers.

Guess what came to the store? Give the man a cookie who answered “the chart”. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen. Corporate actually sent cute little charts that belong in a kindergarten class. Each row is to be completed with driver’s name, how many delivers for the day (the row spans a week) and how many pizza were given away because of the damned sticker. Fortunately, our GM knew better then to post this silly thing anywhere else but file thirteen.

Oddly enough, all the hype is now gone. There isn’t any real pressure to tell about the wonders of the sticker. All that remains is another motion to go through when asked by someone who thinks they are important.

666, Mark of the Beast
As if the XLP and the hot and free guarantee wasn’t enough, slick Daddy Domino’s had to try it again: another triple numerical combination. Perhaps you remember the 5-5-5? Minimum order three medium one-topping pizzas for $5 apiece? Again, the spectacular 7′s, minimum order three medium unlimited topping pizzas or minimum order three large one-topping pizzas. Well, now we have the super 6, 666 or mark of the beast, whichever you want to call it. It works like this: 1 large one-topping $6. Two orders of bread, $6. Wings or kickers $6. You get any combination of the three.

Of course, the general population doesn’t get the special. In fact, most of the employees must not get it either. It doesn’t sell. Ironically, one lady said that her pastor told her to quit working for Domino’s because she was doing Satan’s work there. Incredible!

Domino’s the poor
Despite it’s best efforts, Domino’s keeps opening the door right into it’s own nose. Perhaps it should seek to be government subsidized. Domino’s tries to be all things to all men failing miserably at everything it attempts and pleasing no one in the process. Wherever the need arises in the community, you can count on Daddy Domino’s, home of the hot and free guarantee to reach out the poor, oppressed and hungry peoples of the world. Domino’s: we’re in the business of giving away free pizza.

Here we meet once again. Yes, it is true that I journeyed to a super-secret location. This time it was to the land of Snead. There, it is said, lives a great writer. Yes, it is true that this was not the original destination. That location cannot be disclosed at this time because it will be in the weeks and months to come one stop amongst many, if reason can be given for more stops or if a travel companion is to be found.

Greetings to all of you out there, especially to all of the new readers. It’s good to have you with us. I also want to extend a warm welcome to Emo Girl and remind everyone to leave her an encouraging comment from time to time.

I went to Snead to award a good friend of mine two cigars for the completion of the 7th draft of his novel. However, not only did he stay up all night Wednesday, but all day Thursday as well. Therefore, when I arrived at his house at 1830 Thursday, I was greeted with the news from his mother that he had just given up the ghost as it were and would probably be retired for quite some time. Thusly, I proceeded to the next stop.

Yes, I paid a call to dear old Pumblechook himself. They were all rather pleased to see me. For the first time he saw the new and improved Pimpmobile. To say the least he liked it and I dare say he was more reservedly proud.

Whilst old news to me, my sister got a laptop. It is a Centrino Duo with a gig of RAM. I’m jealous. As soon as I get caught up on the bills, I do believe that I will purchase one too, though it would probably be wise to wait until I know for a fact that I am going back to school in the fall. That is to say, I do not know if the appeal has went through or not. Secretly, I’m hoping that it doesn’t go through.

Travels to Mossflower
For dinner, we had sloppy Joes whilst we watched an episode of Poirot. Afterwards, they all headed to bed. I stayed up and read several chapters in Mossflower; I am convinced tat despite the British TV series, I should contact Brian Jacques and talk to him about pitching the series to Pixar. It was upon reading:

You can call my home your own, for you and your mice, as long as you like, and please don’t thank me—you’d do exactly the same for me if I needed shelter. In fact you did, many years ago when I was young and liked to travel.

that I thought it wise to stop and record my thoughts.

A very good friend of mine (the Cullmanite from the Happy Insured Mortorist Day article) recently got back from a short missions trip to Germany. In fact, we should all encourage him to post about it as he promised me he would. (For those of you in Juanita, that means go leave him comments threatening harm if he doesn’t post.) Perhaps he’ll even do a Q & A.

Our conversation (stormreaver and me) was Wednesday afternoon. He said that no matter what he ate over there, it was infinitely better then anything Stateside. This made me do two things: want to get something from Ol’ Heidelberg (the jager schnitzel was to die for!) and made me reminisce about my experience abroad, both in and out of the country. I then formulated a plan: go from place to place, both in and out of the country, jobbing as I go.

For example, let’s say I wanted to go to Kalamazoo, MI. I leave here (though I think I would retain the apartment) and arrive in Kalamazoo. Upon arrival, I’d find a job, hopefully one that is related to the culture, but nevertheless a way to make money. Perhaps I’d even write ahead to the local papers and put an ad in the classifieds that I am looking for a family to stay with. I would need money to make the car payments, etc. How I paid from room and board would be negotiable. It could be that I trade my mad skilz/manual labor or, of course, cash rent. After I’ve seen the country, I’d try the same abroad.

Of course, if I were smart, I’d by a still camera and perhaps the DVX-100 to help with documentation, along with a laptop for editing and Internet connectivity. *chuckles* That makes me think of the Coke commercials where the kids go off making the documentary as they travel across the country.

Upon thinking on this for a couple of days, I thought it could also be fun to try this with a girlfriend of sorts. To say the least, the sex would be amazing and we’d never lack for entertainment. Oh to dream!

Of course, this, like most of my better ideas is highly impracticable at best, though I expect that Howton will encourage this behavior as he is a firm believer in knowledge by experience vs. knowledge by study.

Travels today to an undisclosed, super secret location, back tomorrow night for a weekend post. See you then.

Your guiding light through times of tumult, murkiness, despair, chaos, depression, gloom, doom and the good times as well, not going to stop blogging until everyone agrees with me.

It’s humbling how many of you have been supportive and grateful to me for putting a voice to my thoughts in an effort to spread the word. I actually expected a debate or fight, but honestly, this is more heartwarming.

I think part of it has to do with the fact that people are so sick of hearing their country being bashed on a daily basis. I mean when you wake up and day in and day out you have a group of people who get orgasmic about mews of this country’s defeat and mistakes, it’s disheartening. It’ll make you want to give up and throw in the towel.

To me, it’s amazing how many people are religiously holding to the Hitler doctrine of a lie to long enough, loud enough, oft enough, people tend to believe. This myths has been perpetuated from the highest levels of government to the lowliest plebe.

If we are victorious, if we are defeating terrorist, why is there such resistance? It has a lot to do with he fact that there are too many people who have a vested interest in this country’s failure. What’s good news for the country is bad news for them. What’s bad news for them is good news for the country. It is about the hatred of one man, George W. Bush.

Okay, so he isn’t the charming, eloquent, slick Bill Clinton nor is he the charismatic conservative that Reagan was. But he has made the right decision in taking the battle to the enemy. These non-Geneva Convention-conforming parasites that hide behind the skirts of women and children are no longer on the offensive. They do not call the shots. Instead, they get luck when a car bomb takes out a semi-high ranking Iraqi official.

The charge has been laid that this war is all about Americans getting rich because those in power have made exclusive deals with various corporate affiliates. Some have criticized that this is unfair and unethical. But I ask, is this not what Americans do? Do we not back-scratch for an in-kind return?

The charge has been made that Dick Cheney and Haliburton are nothing more than despicable war profiteers. Okay, fine. If they are, they are. If there is enough concern that there has been criminal activity, another American tradition of the never-ending highly-publicized court battle will ensue and I’m sure that justice will be met out given the number of Clinton appointees still on the bench. Perhaps justice will not be swift enough for some, but hey, justice will be served. If, on the other hand, Cheney gets lucky and stacks the deck, he just might pull an O. J. Simpson. There too, American tradition will shine through. It will give us something to laugh about.

But the idea that somehow this country is ther personification of evil is absurd. We give our enemies tights that we don’t afford our own citizens. We prefer those who cross our borders illegally, giving them healthcare and social security without penalty. We continue to pay high gas prices so that we can preserve ANWAR and the Everglades. Because we’re a compassionate people, we pay for those who don’t want to be productive and work for themselves. We allow them to live comfortably too, in some cases, much more than we do. Will someone please explain to me in lieu of these facts how America is the problem?

With talent on loan from God Himself and half my brain tied behind my back just to make it fair, I come to you, even under the influence of low blood sugar to make the complex simply and easy to understand.

My words and thoughts are so eagerly anticipated, even though any reader could be the subject of my object lesson. I appreciate those of you out there who beg me to post. It lets me know I’m loved. It lets me know that there is a demand out there for what I have to say; that I am a rare and precious commodity and as such must keep up public appearances, even though I want to get away from it all.

There’s so much on the table I don’t know where to start. But I’m not in the best of moods. I might get a line or two written only to say “the hell with it” and post as-is in mid-thought, without proofreading or completing a thought. Honestly, I didn’t want to post tonight, but Dan posted something that I just can’t not comment on. Since my commentary on this subject is going to be in-depth (at least, that is the point and hope of putting it here) I didn’t think he’d like a dissertation in his comment section. On the other hand, if he does, he need only say so.

North Korea
I repeat Dan’s text here since it is brief enough.

The United States is reporting that North Korea is ready to test a long-range missle. This long-range missile is believed to have the capability of hitting the United States. So Condoleezza Rice and others have issued warnings to North Korea about launching the test missile. A question that is asked on drudgereport is “Will US intercept?” In other words, will the United States shoot it out of the sky?

My question is a little different.

Should the United States shoot a North Korean test missile out of the sky?

First of all, I’d like to see some kind of confirmation. I wished he’d linked to a news story supporting this. Whether or not they’re testing a nuke is of no consequence; it’s the posed question and the answers that it got that I want to take to task.

Within the first 30 or so comments, there were various viewpoints raised. Granted, I didn’t read all 153 (at the time of writing) comments, but something tells me that I won’t have to. I’m willing to bet that I’m not going to find one ounce of the much-needed truth spoken there, because everyone is so caught up in chasing their tails.

Comments ranged. Some examples:

• yes [jamethrox]
• If it’s going to endanger someone, yes. [purdy_clarinet]
• My question would be – Does the US have the ability to shoot it out of the sky?

  Assuming so… Then – that would depend. We would have to be responsible for any destruction caused by it then – wouldn’t we? (assuming that the pieces have to go somewhere….) [eeyore17026]

• Only if it endangers someone. If not, we need to go to the U.N. and lay down the law, international style. We do little to promote world unity by taking our own initiative over that of the majority. But if it endangers someone, we need to take action so we do not have the blood of so many others on our hands. [Socratic_Monkey]
• Well, frankly I think that nuclear missiles should all be destroyed, along with anyone who knows how to make them. [alien_bob]
• Yes, definitely. If they’re going to test their long-range missile, we should test our ability to intercept it. It’s probably a lot less expensive for us to share testing expenses with North Korea than to send up our own test missile and shoot it back down. I think it’s best for everyone if we shoot it down.[GracieLeigh]
• Absolutely not. What a hypocritical message we send to the world: “we can have nukes but you cannot because we are trustworthy and you are not.” We are and/or should be perceived as a global bully if that is our attitude. Truth is we are not more trustworthy – in fact, we are the ONLY nation that has used nuclear weapons to destroy multiplied thousands of civilians. I think that might just make us the LEAST trustworthy.

  Let’s lead by example and do nothing to further infuriate. Instead let’s lead the way in opening dialogue and seeking peaceful solutions.[jcmelordy]

• I like how people keep commenting that the U.S. needs to learn that it doesn’t govern the world, and then turn around and say the U.N. is responsible for it. Do they not realize that the U.N. headquarters is in the U.S. and most of it’s funding and millitary personell are American? Interesting…[Building_A_Mystery]
• I have a rather Machiavellian perspective on the U.S. Military… Mainly that I’m an American, and I do feel bad about us exerting our authority where we have no right to. However, we are the most powerful nation on the globe, and any threat to that, and via that my livelihood, should be eliminated.

  Shoot it out of the sky. (Although in all likelihood, we’re not equipped to do something like that, and if we tried and failed, it would look worse than if we didn’t do anything).

  Personally, I don’t think Americans would go for it to begin with. Too many people would protest us shooting it down; there would be dissention around the globe, etc.

  Americans need to toughen up, stop putting their noses where they don’t belong (especially in international politics), and be able to defend themselves quickly, viciously, and absolutely if necessary.

  I figure I’d probably shoot it out of the sky, and then firebomb a few million acres of uninhabited wilderness in Korea just to drive the point home that we can tear them apart if need be. Militant minds around the planet are realizing rather quickly that American ethics are soft and that they can expect a slow and bumbled response to anything they do to us, as long as it doesn’t make the front page of the paper.[cyssis]

• As someone who has spent time in Korea defending this country, I can provide you an unfaltering, “HELL YES!” [ehowton]

I’m stunned that so many people had diarrhea of the mouth and yet had absolutely nothing of substance to say. Saying only yes immediately cries out for a “Justify your answer.” If it’s going to endanger someone, yes. What are you smoking? It’s a BOMB that causes damage, carnage and devastation. But of course it’s not going to endanger someone. It’s just a big, dangerous firecracker.

Does the US have the ability to shoot it out of the sky?

I find that question so asinine and I’ll tell you why: there’s no faith in the U. S. military anymore. Jill’s been making a good point about this, albeit it in a different way. People just don’t know, kid’s especially. No one knows why they hate Bush or the military, the just do, compliments of the drive-by media. The attitude doesn’t change even after we kill Zarqawi. To me the question is asinine because it says “hey, I don’t live in the best country. I’m not protected by the best-trained military in the world. I’m not in the most innovate country that finds solutions to problems when the need arises.” There’s no pride in being an American anymore.

In a way, I find a great point in that question at the same time. I honestly think that the best thing that could happen to this country is for us to get involved in a Cold-War type situation with North Korea. I don’t mean that we listen to the idiots who say, “we need to talk to them. We need to have a negotiated peace. Diplomacy! Diplomacy!”

Let me tell you something about negotiated peace and diplomacy: Neville Chamberlain talked to Nazi Germany and got a negotiated peace. Forty days later, Hitler shows his true colors in The Night of Broken Glass.

No, when I talk about getting involved in a Cold War type situation, I’m talking about an arms race. I’m talking about having to constantly be on our guard and have better technology then the enemy to retain first strike capability. The added benefit would be that (hopefully) the American people would be shaken out of their daze and realize the gravity of the situation. Appeasement only makes the aggressor more aggressive.

To those who advocate the use of force, know that what you suggest is commendable and is ultimately the only course of action. However, another Mogadishu would be worse then doing nothing at all. For God’s sake, if we’re gonna go in there, we gotta show ‘em we mean business. Carpet-bomb the damned place. Level it so infrastructure can be built and progress be made. If Washington is allowed to play petty politics on this issue, it will be the beginning of the end for America.

The idea that we should wait until we know if it’s heading for someone or not is preposterous. While we have the best technology in the world, we still need time to deploy it. If North Korea wants to test a bomb, that’s a calling card to the United States to make sure that it doesn’t get up off the ground. If North Korea wants to act as a threat, we’ll deal with them, just like we’ve dealt with Iraq and now Iran. If you are a terrorist and wish to have people fear you because you’re mentally unstable and dream of killing and torturing as many people as possible, you are now an enemy of the United States and therefore have an ticking “impending doom” clock .

Americans need not feel guilty every day they wake. We should be proud to live in a country where we are free to come and go as we choose. We can say what we want to say, carry guns, believe what we will and do not have to live in fear that our estates will be taken over by soldiers of our own armed forces. No one has a right to search our personal and private belongings nor do they have a right to take property that is rightfully ours without first going through the due process of seeking a court order which will only be granted if due cause is shown to warrant such search and seizure. We have a right to be judged by our peers if accused of a crime. We need not live in fear that we will be tortured by the government for no good reason. The Federal government cannot, as much as it would like to, trample on our rights and has no power given to it except by what has been granted to it in the Constitution of the United States. In fact, if the Constitution doesn’t specifically give the Federal Government a particular power, not only can the Federal government not assume it, but it is left up to the each State and local governing body to regulate said un-enumerated powers. Kids in the audience: can you name what have I just described?

Going to a group of flag-waving, two bit, ten horn despots to get their permission to do our job or to get them to collectively not only come up with a resolution but also an executable plan that they themselves will enforce without fail is preposterous. The United Nations is corrupt from the Secretary-General down to the pageboy. Why should this collective scumbag be allowed any input over the world’s affairs? Remove the obstruction and let freedom ring.

America doesn’t fail. The only time we fail is when we’re sabotaged from within. Those who would needlessly risk the lives of Americans for political gain or to prove a point are treasonous. As such, they should be meted out the swiftest form of harsh justice know to mankind. Why in the world there is any doubt that America will succeed victoriously remains an enigma at large, but one thing is for certain: we can and we will succeed, triumphing over our enemies by giving those people who were oppressed by said totalitarian Machiavellian derelicts a higher standard of living then they have ever known.

Greetings, friends, conversationalists, thrill-seekers and music lovers all across the fruited plains. This is the one and only blog you need read to understand the blogging phenomena. A blog that meets and surpasses readership expectations ever time I decide to update. The definitive place to go where there’s never a dull moment, even when I don’t post.

Okay, okay. I admit, that was just a means to set up the tone, the style of this post. Very light-hearted and fun-filled, yet serious all at the same time. This post comes direct to you from the UAH campus. It’s 0200 and I’m sitting under a tree, across from a street lamp hand-writing this post which I will transcribe for you in mere moments.

I gotta tell ya, cigars have never tasted so good. What I smoke is a little rough on the pallet and hangs in the air. In fact, you can still smell them several days after having smoked one in my apartment. They’re good. I was afraid that the box I bought was going dry on me ’cause it’s not very humid in my apartment. In fact, the last three or four that I’ve had have been super dry. Maybe it was what I was drinking with them. But ths one’s good. It makes you feel like a man. I need to buy another box. There’s only one left. Alas, I’m sticken with that ancient Chinease disease: Fundsalow.

MIA
Now I know several of you probably think that I’ve been MIA (that’s Missing In Action for those of you in Juanita) for the past week. Look it, I’ve been caught up with “the business of living”. Speaking of being MIA, Emo Girl has been strangely silent for about a month now. In fact, Howton was telling me the other day the he missed her comments on my site. I do too. So let’s all show our support and leave her a “thinking of you” comment. (NOTE: No sooner do I write this then she posts.)

Okay, so the “business of living” quote was merely an excuse for me to put a plug in for Freedomland. I can’t recommend the film enough. It’s engaging. Great filmmaking. A story well told. I was shocked to find out that it’s only getting a 4.x on IMDB. (Latest number is 4.6) But if there’s one thing that this audience knows, it’s that I have taste in film. Speaking of films, I just finished From Hell for the second time and I must say that the second viewing is much better than the first, despite knowing the twist. I wonder if subsequent viewings will be as good.

But no, the reason that I’ve been gone for a week is due to the fact that I’ve had some personal issues I’ve been dealing with. Now is not the time or place to get into it, but I do wish to publicly thank those of you who’ve been supportive of me during this time. Due to the nature of what happened, I can’t name any names, but you know who you are and I’m grateful to you for your support. It’s unfortunate that I can’t thank each and every one of you personally here, but like I say, I greatly appreciate the support.

Optimisim
I do have to say though, that due to the way things turned out, it’s been a positive experience all around and as such, my spirits have been lifted. Perhaps Howton won’t get overly excited when he notices that my posts are becoming more optimistic. In fact, I’ll tell you just how optimistic I am: I’ve wanted to not just clean, but organize the place and gear up for duh duh dut, duh duh dut, duh duh dut dut da, school in the fall. More on that in just a moment. I want to finally (after being in this apartment two years) get all my books on bookshelves and open the floor up. I want to start an aquarium, but to do what I want, costs could be as high as $1200 and that’s assuming I can get the fish I without having to pay an arm and a leg. I want to get the bed outta here since I bought a futon about two months ago—yannow, it seems these days that everything happened two months ago.

I need some bookcases. Both need to be dark wood. Needed dimensions are 42″ x 42″ for the one and the other 5′ x 3′. If you know of any some such for around $20 a piece, let me know. You get extra points if they’re so-called lawyer’s bookcases. I went thrifting for such animals the other day and from the looks that people were giving me, you’d thought I was asking them for plot on the moon. Apparently, bookcases are hard to come buy these days.

The bed has a Sealy Posturepedic mattress with a bunky board. The frame is a cream varnish on some hardwood. I have to tell you, the mattress is geared towards people who sleep on their back. Great back support, but it’s horrible for those of us who sleep on our sides.

School
Well, it’s semi-official: I’m officially unofficially going to school in the fall. That is to say that I found classes to take besides the 500 level stuff and I filed for Fin Aid as well as turned in my appeal letter. So if the money gets to the school without a hitch, I’m going. But if not…just waiting on the award letter to see how much money I can get so I can budget the semester. Currently slated, the semester will be 13 hours and will be the following classes: Cal C, Digital Logic, OOP via C++, and Unix. I’ve signed up for tutors for Cal C and Digital Logic. Since I’ve seen all of the material before, this should be a perfect (read all “A’s”) semester. Of course, I need to brush the dust off my mad Calculus skilz. And I haven’t coded in a while, so I might should run back through the basics.

I want to write for the paper again if I go back. Supposedly, there some contention concerning the incoming Editor-in-Chief and as of last report, there may not be a paper this year. Also, I need to track down what’s what on the Arete.

Life
Here’s kinda the way I envision life going: if I get those commercials written by the end of this week and pass them off to my storyboard artist, and should we actually get to shoot them and they get aired, thereby getting referrals, Blue Portal just might get off the ground. Otherwise, come October, when it comes time to renew the license, I will just let it drop. Of course, Sidewalk is September 22-24 and I don’t intend to miss it this year.

Regardless of what happens with Blue Portal, class in the fall whilst working full time. This is doable and it will be interesting to see how this works/feels compared to past semesters. But if things are on the up and up, I’ll continue to plug away at the degree until I either finish it, get a job offer with it, or film works out. When I finish the degree, I hope to go straight to a master’s, having some company pay for it all. Mu ha ha ha ha!

I might play the parties per Beth’s instructions, but that remains to be seen. Regardless, get the degree/decent job, find someone to settle down with and be happy paying off student loans. The idea is that I can use the CS/MA degree to get into film i.e. use it as a platform. But I don’t think I’ll find myself in a serious relationship until I’m established with the start of a so-called career. Of course, that means that the holiday season is going to suck this year.

Filmmaking/Talk Radio
Of course, both of these have been dreams from the get-go, not to mention finding someone to settle down with on a decent estate. I think in other posts I’ve beaten the filmmaking horse to death, so I’ll rehash the talk radio gig: buy an EV RE-20 with appropriate boom and a four channel mixer. From here, I can either Shoutcast, Podcast, or both. Of course, if I Shoutcast, I want to run my own server, which is the other piece of news:

SysAdmin
I need a Linux box. Recommends for distros with justification would be greatly appreciated. I’m looking at doing a $600 P4 deal, so it’d need to be x86. I’ll probably go with Red Hat/Fedora simply because that’s what UAH runs, but the feedback I’ve gotten on it leaves much to be desired. Oh the horrors! Of course, I need a router so I can hook up to the Windoze b0x3n. I’ll probably run a KVM solution for I/O. Of course, if you still want to send that Solaris b0x3n this way, Howton my address is…

Finding the Sites
The post title is a reference to this section. I’m thinking of taking off to a super-secret location much like I did last week and reporting on it in much the same fashion. In fact, I think I’m gonna try and do that every week between now and school. That way, when it comes time to wow the girlfriend, I’ll have the spots all picked out and look like the expert that my Dad was on this topic. Of course, you’re more then welcome to guess where it is. HINT: It is an in-State, two hour drive and I have never been there. It is in the north-east region of the State.

2 week old News
I’ve been so outta the loop, that I’m just now getting around to the news of June 1. Here are the highlights in no particular order:

• June 1 was the first day of the hurricane season. Ironically enough, it was also the inauguration of Ray “School Bus” Nagin. The pull quote?

  But the central message of Nagin’s speech, perhaps not surprisingly, was not to be found in the prepared text. Rather, it came in a lengthy ad lib, in which the mayor delivered a characteristically plainspoken riff on President Kennedy’s legendary “ask not” speech, urging New Orleanians to “get off your duffs” and play an active role in the city’s recovery instead of waiting for help from the outside world.

  “This is not on President Bush,” Nagin said. “It’s not on Kathleen Blanco. It’s not on Ray Nagin. It’s on you.”

• 

• Hillary promised to deliver 200,000 new jobs, but New York had a net loss of 112,000. story

• Scientists try to cover up a huge oil find in arctic story

• Allegedly, because the INS refuses to release rules on spousal visa, it has become more difficult, if not impossible for Americans to get their significant others into the country legally, despite illegal Mexicans flowing across the border daily. info story audio

For skinnyminnygrl

Last minute thoughts
Anyone have ideas for my links? I don’t like the underline thing. I thought about just killing the line and letting them stand as regular text, but then you don’t know that it’s there. Suggestions?

I wonder if there is a study comparing Google users to other search engine users that would be similar to the one that Howton found comparing Xanga users to Live Journal users.

You should read the book that I am reading. This is the first Nero Wolfe book I’ve read. The min-series was great.

Itinary

0053 – arrive at Waffle House
0346 – finish typing notes
0350 – go back to room, can’t sleep, turn on TV
05?? – fall asleep
0815 – wake up call
1015 – wake up
1035 – bend pin on Relic
1040 – check out
1045 – arrive at Walmart
1047 – arrive at Cracker Barrel
1200 – arrive at aquarium
1210 – start self-guided tour
1305 – finish first building walk-through
1308 – stop at café that has free Internet access, blog
1322 – building 2

Thoughts
1102 – Don’t know why I let it happen, but I did. When I woke up last night, I couldn’t go back to sleep, so I talked to Beth, went to Waffle House and typed up my notes.

Watched Matlock when I got back to the room. When that went off, (I guess around 0500/0530) I channel surfed, learning about Zarchari. There wasn’t much else on. I fell asleep.

Wake up call at 0815. Forgetting there was no snooze button on wake up calls, I roll over. Awake at 1015, check out being at 1100.

Hastily, I run some water in my hair so it will lay down, but it doesn’t.

Go to put on the Relic, but the pin is hanging out again. (It has done this ever since I purchased it.) Attempt to push it back in only to bend it. Damnit! This is no way to begin a vacation day. Of course, Walmart doesn’t have any pins that size, so it can’t be fixed until I get home.

Order the maple pancakes. Of course, I forget to tell them no butter.

Return Reggie’s phone call from 0655 this morning. He was just checking up.

Been thinking about skipping the aquarium, but I payed for it and have this day off too.

1210 – For some ungodly reason, two sets of tickets printed when I went to redeem my voucher. “They” swear I haven’t been charged twice.

Parking is $8.

I tried to find Limbaugh on the dial on the way over to hear his take on Zarchari, but no go.

1216 – Until now, I thought that coming to the aquarium would make me want to start my own (at home). Yes, it is true that I have been seriously considering it about three weeks now; in fact, I went to the local aquatic store with the intent of buying the necessaries that day; however, I found there is much to learn about fishkeeping. Though I don’t want to say this so that I might escape implication, it appears that raising fish in nearly as demanding as raising kids. Don’t get any ideas about that last sentence.

I want a Royal gramma in my tank. Should I consider adding starfish?

The first attraction is seahorses.

1232 – Snake are next. I remember this attraction from so many years ago.

1234 – Otters.

1237 – River fish.

1234 – I think about how one would light underwater for fish photography and then I remember I’m supposed to be writing commercials for a local business so I can get them to my storyboard artist.

1251 – Turtles.

1254 – Make sure to do research on fins from Lake Nicaragua. Very colorful. Good eye candy for an aquarium.

1255 – I wonder how much pressure is being exerted against the glass by the water in the big tanks.

1332 – Tony came out of the closet on his blog today!

1345 – I have only one hour to get through this building because of the IMAX show.

The initial attraction is sharks and sting rays. This too, I remember.

While the motif is humid and vivacious, I move on to the Butterfly Garden which reminds me of the Butterfly Conservatory in NYC.

1350 – Met a girl who wants to get a book published call Snow Globe Girl. Her Name is Holli. I wished her luck before I continued on my journey. (more on this later)

1430 – Either I skipped 95% of this building or there just isn’t that much to see.

Siting in the IMAX building. Bout the Deep Sea Poster. This film is scored by Danny Elfman. Odd, Burton isn’t directing a film that both of his mainstays are in.

I’d have to say that the best attraction of the trip was Rock City. Of course, the most personal experience was at Point Park. The aquarium was all right. There wasn’t much evolution bullshit which is a plus. Ruby Falls was a ripoff.

If I had to take a girl to Chat-town, my attraction list would be Rock City followed by Point Park. I’d tag along to the aquarium, but they’d have to be showing a decent IMAX film.

You’re all probably wondering where I am since I’ve been incognito all day. If you’re not wondering, that just goes to show who my real friends are. I took off today and went to Chattanooga. There will actually be two post since I will be here two days. Each post will contain two parts: the itinary and the thoughts.

Itinary

0330 - scramble to pack
0420 – fill up at Cowboy’s on Jordan Lane
0430 – depart Huntsville listening to the Hannibal soundtrack.
0515 – change disc to Celtic Wave
0550 – arrive Chattanooga
0600 – arrive Racoon Mountain via Cummings road, call Will
0605 – depart Racon Mountain via Cummings, get on I 24 above GA line
0630 – stop at rest area to collect maps and hopefully buy a note book
0655 – arrive Ruby Falls
0705 – arrive Rock City, call home
0730 – depart Rock City for Panera Bread
0815 – arrive Panera Bread
0817 – buy notebook at adjacent BP
0820 – arrive Panera Bread, order cafe blend, moring glory bagel w/honey walnut spread and a cinnammon roll

——
Times are now in EST

1005 – depart Panera Bread
1050 – arrive Roc City, buy tickets for Acquarim, IMAX, Ruby Falls, Rock City and Incline
1055 – text Eric to start the guessing games
1105 – picture is taken by Kodak at start of trail.
1231 – depart Rock City
1252 – arrive Ruby Falls
1400 – arrive at falls site
1430 – end tour

Thoughts in EST
0941 – Have been thinking about Tony’s NYC entry and wondering what he and Eric will have to say about this trip.

I hope that the hotel has free internet access. PC included so that I may update tonight.

It is 0846 CST and Will still hasn’t called.

I wonder what it would have been like to had LivingIsEasy come along. This thought reminds me of the butterfly post and as such, in a way, this is a dream come true: early morning car ride/getaway and the first offical stop is Panera Bread.

Thought about Jesse who, by now, should be safely on the ground in Germany. He promised to keep a paper journal on the trip and transcribe to his blog upon return. I wonder what he will think about this.

I can already imagine being in the hole tonight reading Mossflower.

I wonder why Writing Passion hasn’t communicated/stopped by in forever.

Originally, I wanted to do the following:

• Ruby Falls
• Rock City
• Battles of Chatanooga
• Acquarim
• walk-through/tour
• Deep Sea IMAX movie narrated by Johnny Depp and Kate Winslet
• behind the scenes @ 3

However, I have ruled out Battles dure to time constraints. Perhpas that will be another trip. Today I think will be Ruby Falls and Rock City. Tomorrow will be Lookout Mountain and teh acquarim, possibly just the acquarim.

I think I would like to go to the theater tonight.

There is a cute girl that works here. I should ask her out. Possible pick-up line: The world is in short supply and high demand for cute girls like you

I should probably get back to Rock City and buy tickets before I loose too much time. I wonder how long I will hold out not having slept, what will be for lunch, and what will be for dinner.

The coffee leaves much to be desired. I shall have to settle for an Amp or MDX.

1104 – I hate when you tell people to guess and they say “I don’t know.”

The girl at the stand is pretty. I’ll flirt with her.

Howton guessed London. Ass.

Mission accomplished!

1111 – The first part of the trail is shady and cool. I removed my sunglasses. Told Howton that teh place starts with a “C”.

1115 – Howton guesses “Cincinati”. I decide to text Tony.

1121 – Reach “Deer Park”. It reminds me of some zoo I’ve seen in some film, possibly Madagascar.

1123 – Deer Park suddenly makes me think of Amy.

1127 – Flirt with a cute girl working concession stand. Tell her she is cute and should go into on-screen advertisement because she will sell whatever she advertises because she is so pretty.

1130 – I tell Howton to think “Rock”

1135 – Cross the swing bridge. Intresting sensation. Makes you glad they use stunt men and CG.

The view is “spec-tac-u-lar”

1142 – Arrive at Lover’s leap. I’d leap, if only I were a lover. Alas, I am not.

1152 – I should probably mention that I’m wearing my Lee Univeristy Guatemaula Mission shirt and have gotten several comments about it. I told the fly-in story to an older couple. Be sure to ask me about this some time.

1155 – Howton calls to see if I was just playing a game or if I’d actually tell him where I was. He suggests that since I’m trying to get away from it all that I turn off all communication devices immediately.

1200 – Go through Fat Mans’ Squeeze. I wonder how much fun it would be to go through hugging your significant other.

1203 – I get Howton’s text message that Castle Rock is a fictional town in Stephen King novels.

1211 – I sit under the 1000-ton balanced rock. I’m not impressed.

1212 – Enter the “Hall of the Mountain King”. Of course, I hear a few bars of Grieg in my head.

Upon entering, the tempature immediately drops no less then 10 degrees.

I still can’t help but wonder what this trip would be like with female companionship.

1217 – The wall at the exit of the “Hall of the Mountain King” is covered with moss/alge.

I wonder how long (verticle height) this will be on the screen. Perhaps I will break the “Thoughs” section up by location, making each a seperarte post. It’s hard to tell looknigat my chicken tracks.

1221 – Enter Fairylan Caverns. Like most other palces along the trail, they won’t allow you to smoke here. Glad I didn’t bring my cigars along.

When I entered and heard strains of country music, I farted. I wonder if this emmission passes muster with the smoking ban.

I wrote that last comment sitting on a rock wall, one knee propped up by my heel, my back against a cold rock wall. The wall feels so good.

Inside the cavern, there are stalgtits (pointing down) and those rocks they make bookends out of.

1231 – Exit Rock City, buy picture, head to Ruby Falls

1252 – Arrive at Ruby Falls. As I pulled up, I thoguht of Miss Right. don’t know why I thought about her in particular, but I did.

Swapped the Timex for the Relic, perhpas to see if it will get any comments. I wonder if it is out of place.

This attraction is a guided tour. This bites. There probably won’t be many recorded thoughts on this one. ETA till tour start: 10 min.

1400 – Got to the falls. My only thought was “I wonder what it would take to send a camera over the falls and remain in-tact to get the images off the machine.”

1430 – Tour ends.

1535 – Arrive at Point Park. Am tired and hungry, but I will perservere. This is what I thought the Incline went up to; it is merly next to it. Perhaps I can pawn my Incline ticket off on some unsuspecting tourist. This is what I remember and came back for.

I keep associating Lookout Mountain with Big Round Top from the movie Gettysburg

1550 – My gut feelign is that I will not stay her long. This idea is not bourne from exhaustion due to lack of sleep nor from bordom’ rather, it is as though this park is a trysting place for me. Though it pains me to say it, I feel as though I am one with the what happened here so long ago.

It is very tranquil here. Perhaps I should make this my getaway; the cost is only that of the drive and the $3 at the gate. I should come up here early morning, wirte all day, then drive home. With nothing but the sound of the wind blowing and no one else around, I find this park very theruputic.

Maybe it has to do with the view and maybe it doesn’t. Maybe it’s the history and myabe it isn’t. Perhaps it’s the comobnation of the two. Maybe it is simply because I’ve been her as a child and now I get the oppurtunity to respect it as an adult. I should come here more often.

If only it were this easy solving life’s problems.

1610 – What is it that this place is doing to me? What is it trying to say? I feel it within my being. I am so near to discovering and putting into words what I am feeling and yet I know I’m a million lightyears away. Have I found a new resolve? No. Do I feel rejuvinated and ready to tackle my problems head on? No. I am not ready to do an blessed thing. BUt I have found peace here today, an inner stilling that is nearly restful. I still feel weary, but I’m no longer depressed.

I wished I had someone to share this moment with, yet I know that would not be benefical.

I’m torn in two: I know I have nothing to do and no place to be for several hours, yet I feel that I should be busy doing something productive. It’s as though I feel an obligation to do something even though I know I would not dedicate myself to the task at hand and would therefore make no progress.

I desperately wnat to share this moment with someone although I know that there is a healing process going on here. Right now, my desire to eat is surprassed only by my desire to expirement sexually and yet I know the former wil happen in due course while the latter will not.

I want to leave and settle in for the night, yet something tells me to stay a little longer.

Does it bother me at this moment to see young couples cuddling? No, it doesn’t depress me, but it does make me sad that I have noe one to engage with.

Maybe I should leave now, get some rest and food and come back tomorrow. I’ll stay a few moments longer.

1847 – I will leave now and settle in for the night. I think I took a 20 min power nap.

0037 – I don’t really remember what time I left the Point Park. I do remember watching this couple make out. It was arousing.

Got to the hotel around 1900. Thought about swimming, but that would have required buying swim trunks and I have not swam in 8 years. Too exhausted to do anything.

Passed out and awoke some time later. Shaved and showered with the intention of going out to eat, but crashed and slepts until 2330. Beth called and we talked for an hour.

She mentioned that she watned to do something like this with John. I thought of tagging along should they come, but that would depend on the mood and schedule. Probably not prudent.

I’m not going to the business center to type this up since I’m awake. Hungry, but dubious that anything is open.

0053 – Arrive at Waffle House. There is no scanner in the business center, so you will have to wait on the Rock City picture.

I start off with the grilled Texan Patty Melt, coffee and milk. That’s good (except the coffee) but I’m hankerin’ for an egg sandwich. Reminds me of the time I was sick and let Reggie borrow the car in exchange for bringing me an egg sandwich from Waffel House.

Which is more valueable: a handful of gems and precious stones or a cup-full of water?