Ladies and Gentlemen, I want tot talk about miracles today, specifically two miracles that have occurred in my life bot rather recently. Before I do, I would like to make a few remarks about this and the last post.
Last Post
I’ve been watching the traffic meters and seeing who’s coming by. I saw a lot of traffic on the on the global warming post. What I don’t understand is why within the first forty-eight hours in it only got one on-topic comment . The only feedback I can get is that it was “weird”. o.k.
I’d like to have a little audience participation on that post. I would like for you to comment on why it is you think it wasn’t successful. Was it too absurd? Did you disagree with what I said? If you did, what did I say that you take issue with? I would appreciate feedback on this issue, but I would like to keep the feedback on that issue with that issue (i.e. post your comments on why you think it didn’t go over so well on that post) and keep the feedback for the issues in this post with this post. In case you didn’t see it, there was a slight update on that post.
While I’m on the subject, I just have to rant about something. Why do you think that Algore choose the middle of July to release his stupid movie? I’ll answer my own question by posing a hypothetical to you. Let’s say that you are Sir Alfred Gore, a distinguished member of society and one who has a message he has to get out to the masses. The issue is global warming. Now, when do you think you can scare—er, convince more people of your message: a release in the dead cold of January winter or the middle of July when everyone languishes on the beach?
Don’t tell me that this isn’t propaganda! It’s worse then that other stupid movie, The Day After Tomorrow. At least Day After Tomorrow was honest about being a fictitious movie, despite the fact that it was an activist-produced movie. But here we have Sir Alfred Gore who has to get a message out to the people. Like the Reverend Michael Moore did with his Fahrenheit 9/11, the Reverend Algore had to get a message out via the holy church, the movie theater.
I wished that politicians would just stay the hell away from movies if they aren’t filmmakers. Nevertheless, we have a lot of ground to cover, so I need to move on to comments about this post.
This Post
First of all, I’m rating this post “D”. While I do have something very personal to share (miracle A) which is “G-rated”, what I want to explore in relation to the second miracle not only contains spoilers but contains enough adult material to warrant that it be kept from the kids. Therefore, I have decided to rate this post “D”, though some may claim it should be rated “ex”. The reason I hate to rate this post “ex” is due to the fact that many eyes will never pass over it which would be a shame because its an important post as well as a damned good one. So I will make a compromise. When I get to the sections where it gets a little rough around the edges, I’ll warn again, thereby fulfilling my duty to the masses by sharing information and flagging what isn’t apropos for little eyes.
Miracle 1: Not a hair singed or the smell of smoke
As with all my stories, you need to know the backstory to this in order to get the full effect. Perhaps I tell backstories too often to make myself appear important or to make it seem I am a great storyteller or to make it appear that I have something to say. While there is probably truth to all of these claims as well as said reasons, I feel it necessary to describe for you in gory detail what happened so that you may share in the horror of it all.
Wednesday, I was supposed to run the hot-sale route. For those of you who don’t know what a hot-sale is, refer to the Domino’s post. I knew as of Saturday I’d have to do this solo, but I was supposed to be given maps and more importantly contact information. I was promised on Saturday that I’d have this information by Monday evening. There was supposed to be a map in there telling me about a new Friday morning route that I was supposed to fly solo on as well.
Tuesday evening I closed the store. Wee didn’t get out of there until 0130. I had to be back at the store 0900 Wednesday morning. Furthermore, I had promised Dad I’d make it home by 1600 to work on a project. I knew when I agreed to do this on Friday what the schedule would be like, but I figured I could wing it. After all, I’m supposedly young and allegedly done worse.
When I got to the store Wednesday morning, I still didn’t have the info I needed to do my job. Turns out that the information had been dropped off Tuesday afternoon, but no one was informed of this. Of course, the information was incomplete. Nevertheless, I was able to complete the task but not without stress from the district manager.
You see, I knew there was no going down to speak of Tuesday night. Indeed, I only got two hours of sleep. But no matter. Sleep wasn’t the issue. I was rip, roaring and ready to go. However, as the pies were coming out of the oven, the DM began to bitch about how I wasn’t getting the job done fast enough.
Now, everyone one of you out there who has ever worked with me knows that when I actually work, I’m one of the hardest workers out there. Those of you how have known me for some time know that I have an ulcer. I know now that it is triggered by stress. Here lately, I’ve noticed it was active if I woke early. I now know the reason for that singular fact: nine times out of ten, when I wake up early, it’s for some appointment and I feel stressed about it because waking early disturbs my sleep schedule.
So when the DM started chiding me about the pies not bein boxed fast enough, it was just that much more stress on top of running around like a chicken with my head cut off because there wasn’t time for me to analyze the situation before-hand and map out an attack plan. That’s why I was so uptight about the not having the info to do the job, ergo, Tomas the crazy who is in excruciating pain while working at the speed of light.
This time, when the ulcer started hurting, it was unlike anytime ever before. I honestly believe that had the stress level not been reduced when it had, something was about to explode in my belly, but it was simultaneously a pain “that go through and through me.”
When I finally got through with running the route, I was hot to say the least. Two plus hours out in 90°+ heat. Not being able to sell as many pizzas as before because there were building moves in progress. Stressing over if I were at the right place at the right time. Thinking about the chore that was ahead of me at the house. Hearing that line from Devil’s Advocate (IMDB, Amazon)
Pressure: some people focus, others fold.
Trying to focus. Trying not to fold.
During checkout, the DM comes back to the office where the GM is checking me out and says, “C—, you’re crew is pissing me off. I’m going outside to cool off.” Now granted, he probably wasn’t referring to me, but rather to the people up front. No matter, I took personal affront to the comment. I mean, the gall to walk back to your store manager’s office and say shit like that while the guy who busts his ass for you and just went out in the blazing heat in an attempt to make you extra money is now attempting to not only get out of your hair but also meet prior family commitments!
I reacted. Of course, he had already stormed outside. When I left, he was fuming in his car. I thought that it was childish on his part. In fact, when he came in, made his proclamation, and then stormed out, that was exactly the image that came to mind: children on the playground who couldn’t get along.
Now you have to understand, I can’t think of anything more offensive then someone who is at my mercy for help that turns around and bitches at me for their problems. I don’t care if an employer has the right to fist-fuck by virtue of the fact that he’s your boss. You’re not going to talk to me that way or tell me how to run my life. My life is none of your damned business.
In fact, let me tell you about the last moron who pulled that stunt. I was working at a less then reputable establishment which shall remain nameless. His is where I was right after I left the Grill. That GM was bitching to the entire back of the store because of PMS or some other some such esoteric reason. Her exact words were, “You want to see who’s in charge? Just wait ’till the schedule comes out.” I reacted then too. She only had one good closer an that was the buddy who referred me, who, by the way, gets paid more then most mangers do and he is still a crew person there. He dictates his own schedule getting overtime even when he isn’t scheduled for it. I walked off that job and they haven’t had a decent closer since, save my buddy. The thing of it was I was starting to like it there. Indeed, I had begun learning the intricate workings. Oh well! They still have my buddy who no longer needs that job because he’s now a junior accountant at a very prestigious medical company in town.
Angles Among Us
So I finally got out of that hellhole, returned to 127.0.0.1, showered, packed and hit the road. Here’s where the non-sleep of the previous night started to take its toll. My car is rather comfy. Riding in it is quite like riding on glass; very smooth and peaceful. Add to this the constant hum of the tires and long stretches of repetitive scenery. Of course, this was augmented by the overcast condition and the light drizzle. Perhaps the only stimulant to stay awake was the rather strong wind pushing the car. However, as the journey to Juanita continued, the wind subsided.
I just have been taking those little micro naps. If I hadn’t been for the 1600 appointment having been scheduled with Dad, I would have rescheduled. Too bad I didn’t have that luxury.
Upon arrival at the north end of Arab, I discovered two things: the power was out city-side meaning the traffic lights were out as well and there was a car stopped at the non-working light. No you have to understand how traffic flows into Arab. While the speed limit is 65mph, traffic flows between 75 and 85mph for the 15 or so mile stretch between the Tennessee River and Arab. Reset scene.
Barreling into Arab following a small, blue car with smaller taillights appears out of nowhere. The last thought that ran through my mind before I saw the car was, “Oh goodie! No light = no stop.” Ergo tired mind. Ergo alarmingly growing car straight ahead.
As soon s I recognized the situation for what it was, I immediately slammed on my breaks and swerved left. Thankfully, I had kept that lane open. As soon as I jerked, I felt it. There’s nothing like that sick feeling of loosing control of a car.
I remember the back of the car skating towards the car I was just behind. The butterflies boiling in my stomach as I skidded into the intersection. Cars to the right of me wanting to travel perpendicular. I could hear Dad’s words echo in my ears about how hitting your brakes in these situations was the worst thing that you could do. Now I was really flopping around like a fish, wondering if this were the end and what death would be like.
The car stalled. It seemed I had control. Spun around 180°. Slid to a stop straddling the left hand turn lane and the left lane facing the oncoming traffic. Apparently everyone in proximity saw the whole thing in time and gave me plenty of room. In fact, when I came to a stop, there was an incredulous look on everyone’s face. The couldn’t believe what they had just seen. I cranked the car and got in the right hand lane now facing the correct direction and wen about my business.
The oddest thing about all of this is that I did not hit anything nor did anything hit me. The only damage to the car was air had gotten in the clutch and therefore the line had to be bleed. Cost? One signature. Thank God for transferable manufacture’s warranties.
Mircale #2, Film
From the moment I got to the house, it was utter chaos. Since I hadn’t been fully briefed, it was quite shocking when I fully received my assignment. Fished right before church. Played hookie and talked to Frank the whole time, bemoaning my tale and frustrations. We then turned the conversation to adult beverages.
Got a call from Dad. Church was over before I expected. Even the bus route ended earlier then anticipated. We dined at a local barbecue and had pleasant dinner conversation about subjects which were very forgettable.
After dinner, we returned to the house. That’s when the second miracle in the same day occurred. I had hoped to show Kong (IMDB, Amazon) last week. The plan (at least in my mind) was to go home after the funeral, wash clothes, and show Kong. Such was not the case due to the extended family from out of State spending the night. I had grim hopes of pulling this stunt off, especially considering that Mom and Elisabeth had to be up before the crack of dawn. Of course, they both passed, leaving Dad, Austin and myself.
I must admit, showing Kong to a boy who just turned 11 could be very intense, especially at 2200. About an hour and a half into the movie right before Kong makes his first on screen appearance, Mom sent Austin to bed. I’m not him nor do I have his psychoses, but I don’t believe he would have had nightmares. What I do believe would be more the case however is that he would have been impressed by a very exceptionally made film which could have led to a career path. We’ll never know.
SPOILERS AND SEXUALLY EXPLICIT MATERIAL BELOW
I’ve thought this from the first time I watched Peter Jackson’s version of Kong, namely, did PJ intend for there to be sexual overtones in his movie? Let me explain.
When we first see Kong in his natural environment, he attempts to scare Anne. In fact, it’s pretty apparent he was going to shake her up and then either when he got bored or she totally freaked out, he’d leave her for dead in the “bleeding boneyard.” Unlike any other human sacrifice offered to Kong this one fights back instead of just being terrified. There is something strange going on here.
The next scene with Kong, however, establishes him as a herbivore. Good. So he isn’t going to eat pretty chicky baby. Anne tries to escape. Her every attempt to do so is cut off by Kong. He establishes his dominance. But they each notice something about each other. They both get this look in their eyes as if to say “I’m going to test you and see how far I can go.”
Anne then puts on a show for Kong in the style of vaudeville. Kong is definitely interested and amused, but he acts as though he’s bored. She finished her routine leaning on a stick that’s serving as a makeshift cane. Kong gets the idea to push the cane out from under her. Of course, she falls because she was putting all her weight on the stick. There is a go-around with Kong continuing to knock Anne down and laughing about it. Finally, Anne has had enough, and defiantly tells Kong “that’s all there is!”, repulsing his further attempts to knock her down. Immediately, Kong acts like a brutish, jealous man whist Anne glares at him.
He roars and displays his anger and power towards Anne before throwing a tantrum which ends with him punching a cliff, causing a giant rock to fall on top of his neck, much like fate would punish a jealous husband for such a display. Kong walks off giving Anne the could shoulder even though he was remorseful and perhaps embarrassed by his display of anger.
Anne attempts to follow Kong, but he goes out to meet the rescue party. In the meantime, Anne gets attacked by T-rexes after being forced out of a log where centipede-like creatures had put their antennae into her mouth. Was that act supposed to be some kind of sexual reference?
Of course, like any jealous man, Kong is smitten with the sexy woman who shows him the least bit of attention, ergo he fights off the T-rexes. Though he struggled to overcome them, in true male behavior, he makes a flourishing show of finishing off the damsel-in-distress’ foe. Again, typical male, he wants her praise and adoration, yet he can not accept it when given. Let’s not forget that the last time they were together, he was upset with her because she refused to “put out” as it were, ergo accepting her infatuation with his defense abilities and the simple act that he cares would be equivalent to pardoning her unwillingness to continue performing. So he turns his back on her, but of course she’s on his heels.
Then the damnedest thing happens: as she’s chasing after him begging him not to leave her, he picks her up and flips her onto his shoulder for a piggy-back ride. The parallels are numerous. This would be the equivalent of a poke war or general groping game between two lovers ending in him throwing her over his shoulder and carrying her off somewhere. Of course, she’d put up a fight (Anne didn’t) but the truth of the matter is she’d be enjoying every minute of it.
The next series of shots can only be described as a guy trying to impress a girl by driving the car really fast. Of course, she loves it and is now in love with him. I mean, if I were a girl and I was riding on something that big and strong and fast, I’d totally want to fuck it. Now I’m not saying I want to see good ol’e Kong pleasure the girl better then the Trojan army, but the sexual overtones are pretty much blatant at this point.
Next comes “Scene Beautiful.” When Anne walks up to Kong, she has that playful, coquettish look on her face. After a few attempts to get the ol’e boy’s attention, she realized that it’s not because he doesn’t like her that he doesn’t pay her any mind, it’s because he’s admiring the breathtaking scenery. He reaches out his hand for her. She does that typical girl thing of hugging her knees to her chest. Of course, she’s stunning from the chosen angle. What quiet intimacy! It is as if she just got out of a wonderful bath and is curling up with her boyfriend in front of a fireplace on a cold winter’s night.
Jack Driscoll to the rescue! This is where things really start to get messed up. Clearly Kong has it all going for himself. And here this conniving thief comes to steal Kong’s girlfriend away! Kong’s pissed and rightly so. Other then Kong’s fierce anger, the thing to comment on is that Kong’s feet and body were used as a blocking device keeping Anne and Jack separated.
Leaving Skull Island is a very emotional scene. While it just doesn’t feel right for Jack to rescue Anne, she must go back to the man-tribe. If a bird and fish love each other, where shall they live? Kong doesn’t want to let her go but almost comes to grip with doing so…until in true stupid love-clouded female fashion, she starts resenting going home and cries and fusses about it. Kong mistakes this for being held against her will and comes to the rescue. However, her unwillingness to let Kong go is ultimately his downfall. Too bad Anne is too caught up in being rescued—presumably as the damsel in distress.
The crew is trying to trap Kong so they can profit greatly off of him upon returning home. Once Anne realizes this, she resists even more, begging and pleading with the crew to let Kong go. This of course eggs Kong on to rescue Anne from her rescue party. She yells at Kong to go back, but he has to prove he is a man i.e. he can’t walk away from a fight.
Central Park Scene: Very romantic! Oddly, for me it’s rather reminiscent of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (IMDB, Amazon). What I found interesting about this scene is that when Kong first dives into the snow bank, Anne gleefully accepts the falling snow although she protects her face. But when he shakes himself, she doesn’t like it.
Next, we have repetition of “Scene Beautiful”. Each thinks the other’s world is beautiful, yet the lovesick bird and fish couple still have no place to dwell together although survival would probably be most likely in Kong’s world.
Now we come to the great climax. At the beginning of this scene, Kong pushes Anne to safety. Kong discovers that the biplanes are a new kind of enemy. While he finds ways to rid himself of a few of them, ultimately he’s no match. Anne can’t let watch her beloved fight a futile to-the-death battle’ no, she has to be with him, giving him the moral support. At first, she just wants to be at his side. While she is climbing to the top of the tower atop the Empire State Building, ordnance from the biplanes frees the bolts on to of the ladder, thus causing her to be suspended over the city holding on with her hands overhead. Simultaneously, Kong is holding on for dear life due to a barrage of bullets. Seeing Anne out of the corner of is eye, Kong takes the plunge, grabs the ladder and gets Anne to safety by putting her inside the building. She can’t stand watching the slaughter from this vantage point either, so she climbs to the top of the top. Another barrage of bullets; Kong loosing ground in this fight. When Anne gets to the top, she sees the planes coming in for another attack. Standing in front of Kong, she waves her arms frantically to the planes shouting NO!
They pass. Kong holds Anne at arm’s length admiring her own personal strength and commitment. Out of nowhere, Kong is shot in the back. His health rapidly declines. No longer possessing the strength to hold her, Kong sets Anne down and caresses her cheek. Anne knows the inevitable is imminent, yet the good-byes are still difficult. Kong, now dead, slips away—away from Anne forever.
Good ol’e Jack finally arrives at the top of the Empire State Building. While he comforts the bereaved Anne, there really is nothing romantic about this scene. It’s as though Anne has been dating two people, fallen in love with one, keeping the other around because the one she loves is an unconventional choice. Even though the safety net is in place, she dares not to embrace it.
Maybe I’m reading too much into the movie, but this is what I feel every time I watch it. What amazed me (and what is miraculous in its own right) is the fact that Dad was moved by the ending. In fact, he was so moved by the ending that he made a joke to suppress the sadness. Too bad.
I don’t think I’ll ever forget the second time I saw this movie in theaters. I blogged about this some time ago here. I remember Timon’s (at the time) girlfriend bawling her eyes out and then when it was over beating Timon up for taking her and giving me hell for dragging them to Cullman (i.e. holding me responsible for her emotional reaction to the film) as a birthday celebration for stormreaver. Oh, those were good times! I wonder what Miss Right thinks about me now. Of course, none of that really matters and I refuse to get into “what if” mode at the present moment. All I can really say is Kong is a very inspiring movie to the young inspiring filmmaker, one who might be working for Sidewalk this fall.
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