Month: August 2006

  • From the land of blah…

    Greetings friends, conversationalists, thrill seekers, and music lovers all across the fruited plains. I am your host for life, not retiring until everyone agrees with me, because everything I say is documented to be right 98.5% of the time.

    I’m not entirely for sure where to start with this post, there’s so much ground to cover. First and foremost, let me apologize for not giving you the in-depth political coverage that you are used to and expect on a daily basis. It’s been super busy on my end as we try to prepare more items of interest for you the audience. Yannow, if it wasn’t for each and every one of you, I wouldn’t be here. It if it wasn’t for you, there would be no reason for this blog to exist. So as much as you anticipate my every post, even to the point that there are screams of joy and ecstasy from women at the very thought of me making a post, my words—words upon which women swoon over every one of—though the essence of this blog, would be nothing without each and everyone of you.

    As usual, special greetings go out to all the new readers as well as to the faithful who always gather ’round the fireside when we have these little chats. There is so much ground to cover and so little time to cover it in, that I am going to have to write twice as fast, requiring you to read four times as fast.

    Where to start? Since I’m host of this blog and since this blog is for me, by me, of me, let’s start with me. As many of you know, Monday, August 7th marked the twenty-first anniversary of my birth. And you may remember that in an earlier post, I told the story of buying cigars to mark the occasion. Well, as I type this entry for you gentle readers, I am consuming my Maker’s Mark cigar. I find that at the beginning of the smoke, it is a very light cigar. Since I have never sampled Maker’s Mark, I have no clue how little or much it is effecting the taste. It is, however, a rather smoother smoke. Recently, I purchased a capital Nicaraguan smoke. I need to get more.

    So Monday, August 7th marked the anniversary of my birth. This was a world-wide event that received little press. Breaking the tradition of previous occasions of the anniversary, I worked. As a birthday present, I was given a handful of lubricated, spermicide-filled Trojan condoms. To this date, I have not required their use.

    The world saw evil that day. Two men saw something else.
    Wednesday, August 9th was the viewing of World Trade Center. For the Wednesday night party, there was only one person who showed up. When asked how the movie was by various people who knew I was going to see it, I have stated that I wanted to see the movie a second time before commenting on it. I have done so in the time that has lapsed and feel confident in my ability to review the film. Therefore, we shall have a review.

    From my Tuesday, May 23rd post:

    I don’t see why people would pay money to go see Jesus die, but they won’t pay money to see two heroes live.

    At first, I was nervous when I thought about seeing this movie. I wanted to see it, but I didn’t know how much focus would be on what. I couldn’t take something that intensely dealt with terrorists. There was enough of that in United 93. What I did know was that this was to be the story of two men who were trapped in the collapse of the towers. Initially, I thought that they were the last two men who were rescued out of the towers, but alas, the end subtitles reported they were numbers 18 and 19. My initial fear was that this movie would be too intense for even me to sit through. When the rating was finally handed down as a PG-13, I started to relax. I must say, there was quite a bit of emotion, but it wasn’t as violent as I had expected it to be. Howton recently made the comment:

    Preliminary reviews I’ve read makes it sound like the events of 9/11 were simply used as a backdrop for a storyline devoid of anything outside of interpersonal relationships with a feel-good ending.

    I could argue with that statement. Conversely, I could also argue that the statement is in fact true, though misguiding. You see, there is no focus on terrorists as was the case in TV drama Flight 93 nor again as in Paul Greengrass’s United 93. With the former motion picture experience, I never got to see the ending because the Tvio’d disc was unreadable about three-fourths of the way through. It is available for $9.35 via Amazon, however. I do remember this being a rough film to sit through and may therefore add it to the collection soon. United 93 was more insightful particularly concerning what went on inside the FAA and military control facilities, but didn’t have as big of an impact on me. However, reflecting back on the film, I would like to add it to my collection as well, if only for the viewing upon memory triggers. Apparently, there will be a Two-disc edition released on September 5th as well as the standard single disc version. While on the subject, John Powell composed for United 93. I might have to add the score to my collection too.

    World Trade Center was not a feel good story. To me, it was the story of what makes Americans and therefore America great on a daily basis. What I mean by this is as follows: consider if you will that you are in the middle of an emergency. A loved one who is very near and dear to you is knocking on death’s door. You are in the middle of New York City and she collapses on the sidewalk, but the area is so congested it would be difficult for an ambulance to reach your location in time. Out of all the passer-byers, there is bound to be a physician of some sort. Now, today, it would be a risk on his part to offer care to your loved one because of the lawsuits. However, it is a conflict of conscience if he doesn’t help, and, when construed properly, can be another lawsuit for not having rendered care. Forget about the lawsuits for a moment though. Here comes one of the best and brightest among us, and he offers care to your loved one. Because of this, he saved your loved one’s life.

    Your loved one gets to the hospital, but during the procession, the good Samaritan disappears. New York is a big city. You search high and low and even hire a detective, but your angel of grace is nowhere to be found.

    Question: Was this good Samaritan a natural born hero or is he just a simple American going about his daily business who happens to be in the right place at the right time?

    We have a similar scenario in World Trade Center. Here we have a team of experts—highly trained professionals for those of you in Juanita. These are emergency response personnel. An emergency arises: planes hit the World Trade Center. The emergency responders do what they do best: respond to the emergency. But the story doesn’t end there. Like a perpetual motion machine, the gift goes on and keeps on giving. Most of these emergency responders lost their lives in the emergency. However, two of these emergency responders—the subjects of our film—were saved. Isn’t that amazing?! There was so much pride in the county and so much willingness to help a fellow human being on that day that there were those who had to keep trying to rescue people.

    I don’t know if I should ruin the drama or not. I will say that there was a marine who, despite the odds and opposition was ultimately responsible for the rescue of John McLoughlin and Will Jimeno. To me, this is a film about what makes this country great. No one waited around for the nebulas concept of government to act for the good of the people. Granted, police and firefighters are government agencies, but still, it didn’t take an act of Congress for these men to go in and attempt to rescue those who were in the wrong place at the wrong time. They went in because that is what they were trained to do. Human beings who are free to learn how best to survive and help their fellow man exercising their freedom to employ the knowledge they had the opportunity to learn and serve the man next to them. It is a marvelous miracle that nearly brings tears to my eyes when I think about it.

    This film almost made me want to enlist. At the end, I wasn’t smiling. In fact, I was speechless. I sat in quiet meditation with thoughts like “Why can’t we just go over there and do the job right?” or “Uncuff our [America's] hands so we can fight like Americans have fought in the past.” It upsets me to this day that there are people out there who are convinced that the attack of September 11, 2001 was somehow planned by Bush. They blame a president they hate (who, I might add, their buddies on the left have handcuffed so that he can’t properly exercise the responsibilities of his office) for issues they themselves will not deal with and then not want to get to the root of the problem, i.e. taking the terrorist out. It’s frustrating. So there may be those of you who equate watching an Oliver Stone film to sucking cock, but I urge you to judge the film, not the filmmaker.

    There’s just one other thought here and that is this: to me, this film stirred a resolve in me to do something about the attacks, much like there are those who were willing to strap themselves to the rocket to continue the space program after the disastrous occurrence of Columbia. It’s the same yearning, desire and longing of the human sprit to be free, to do great deeds and have a purpose and knack in life. I still don’t see how people can be so blind to the truth sometimes.

    Adult Beverages at Friday’s
    Again, not too many people showed up for this. Among the guests were Will and his wife, Reggie, Jeremy (an ex-coworker from the theater) and the least expected Donna. I don’t know what it is, but every time I try to get a group of people together, it always falls apart. For example, I threw a going back to school party this Wednesday evening. Nobody came. It seems to be the case that when I’m available, no one else is and vice versa. But I promise you this: I am going to the beach October 4-8 (perhaps the morning of the 9th as well) for Fall Break and I’ll move heaven or hell to get someone to go with me. Speaking of plans, let’s not forget about Sidewalk. It looks like if I stay in a hotel, it’s going to cost at least $550. Kinda makes you wonder if it’s really worth it. On the flip side if I stay a few nights with Timon and then again Jesse…

    As for the adult beverage party, there wasn’t much to it. Will, his wife and myself all had entrees. Donna had a cheesecake. A lot of small talk. After the party, we all went back to Will’s place, minus Donna. Let me tell you a little bit about Donna. She is 29, a few inches shorter then me, blond, wears glasses, quiet, intelligent and a divorcee. I’ve known her for at least three years. She works for the school, though she’s switched departments since I’ve been there. There was a time that I thought she might have liked me. This was a long time ago. I would tell the story here, but I don’t think that it’s relevant to what I’m attempting to communicate here. That should probably be one of the short posts that Howton keeps bitching to me about making.

    The point is, I saw her a 1530 on the evening of the party, informed her that the party was at 1900 and she was the first one there. I can understand having an evening free, but damn! Don’t get me wrong; I don’t think she came because she likes me that much. Rather, I think she came because it was my birthday, she didn’t have plans, and it was a way to show that she at least values our friendship. Haven’t gotten her to come out with me since, but what the hell? One night at a time, eh?

    And now a word from our sponsors
    For those of you who are still wondering, I am taking two classes this semester. Suffice it to say there was a lot of red tape and hand-wringing during the last few days leading up to the start of class, but so far, so good. Work is killing me. We are understaffed, no one is making any money and it sounds like three managers are about to leave. I would say that over 80% of the staff there is worthless. I have a new long-distance which I won’t tell you about. Suffice it to say, Howton, that I haven’t scared her off yet. In fact, I think I turn her on.

    I never have any energy anymore. Spent too much money on the credit cards. Bought two bookcases from Furniture Wood Works that had to be assembled after shipping. Was a little frustrating because they sent two right side pieces of front trim with one of the bookcases, but they went together easy enough. All the books are out and it looks really nice. If someone wanted to buy me the Nikon D70 I would be more then happy to take pictures for you. Have considered taking out a loan, buying equipment and starting a film production company the right way this time. Scraped my car the length of the vehicle on the driver’s side below the doors. Pissed me the fuck off. I need more friends…it wouldn’t hurt to have a few girl friends to call every now and again to come over and just play board games.

    Recently purchased

  • Breaking News!

    We interrupt your previously scheduled programming to bring you this update:
    New entry comming soon….

  • Masturbate-a-thon

    That’s right folks! Today we have our first guest post from ehowton. Not only is it his first guest post, but it is mature as well. Sit back with your favorite stogie, pour yourself a glass of your favorite adult beverage and enjoy!

    NOTE: upon appeal, this post might become Ex-Rated.

    According to this article there’s going to be quite a stinky mess to clean up in London! Here’s an excerpt:

    Hundreds expected to come to Masturbate-a-thon
    Fri Aug 4, 11:34 AM ET

    LONDON (Reuters) – Hundreds of Britons are being urged to attend what is being branded as Europe’s first “Masturbate-a-thon”, a leading reproductive healthcare charity said on Friday.

    Marie Stopes International, which is hosting the event with HIV/AIDS charity the Terrence Higgins Trust, said it expected up to 200 people to attend the sponsored masturbation session in Clerkenwell, central London, on Saturday.

    “It is a bit of a publicity stunt but we hope it will raise awareness,” a Marie Stopes spokeswoman told Reuters.

    “We want to get people talking about safer sex, masturbation and to lift taboos.”

    Participants, who have to be over 18, can bring any aids they need and can take part in four different rooms — a comfort area, a mixed area, along with men and women only areas.

    However, the rules on the event’s Web site states there can be no touching of other participants nor are people allowed to fake orgasms.

    “The amount you raise will be determined by how many minutes you masturbate and/or how many orgasms you achieve,” the Web site said.

    Sounds like fun, no?

    No.

    Can you imagine the type of people who will show up to this event? I seriously doubt that a large percentage will be happy, sexually healthy people. I mean, why would they? For example, have you ever had a college psychology professor who wasn’t insane? Exactly. The types of people who sponsor these events are the types of freaks most of us try to avoid in the course of our life, as are the participants. The entire thing is going to be a freak show, and the last thing I want to see in my lifetime are a bunch of masturbating freaks – mind you, I’ve been to the nude beaches in Europe, and that’s fine – but these men are not only going to be erect, they’re going to be stroking themselves, and these women are going to be ‘ready’ – you just don’t get that on a nude beach.

    Trust me, this won’t be one of those beautiful Penthouse layouts where the hot blonde model-types are inserting highly polished silver dildos in themselves and writhing with apparent pleasure as your inspiration to bring yourself to orgasm again and again. This will most likely be filled with the type of social rejects you’d expect to see at a Star Trek convention for the purpose of…what? Raising awareness of safe-sex by publicly masturbating? Just for giggles, let’s leave out the biblical implications for the duration of this post and focus on why this is dumb as a standalone event.

    No touching of other participants. WTF? Even safe sex allows touching – but not here. And probably with good cause to, as you’d likely want to run from these people, not cuddle with them. No, here you get to watch overweight sweaty men doubled over themselves pounding as furiously as possible for ‘points’ or women who look like men trying to comfortably bring themselves to climax with their man hands. Nice. Because if you thought for one moment you could more easily bring yourself to orgasm by watching others engage in similar acts, you’re probably thinking of the Penthouse scenario again. But hey, let’s say you’re not conformable pulling out your meat in front of the opposite sex for the purpose of self-satisfaction (and really, who would be – and if you are, that’s probably why you’re here, as most don’t consider that a healthy sexual display) they’ve got a men-only and women-only room! Fantastic! I can’t imagine my comfort level being eased if I choose to squirt in front of other men doing the same!?!?

    And I can’t even imagine the smell of all those open, moist…nevermind. It sounds like some nightmare version of an adolescent’s dream. And again, for awareness of safe sex? How about sending out a flyer? There’s zero explanation of how a room full of strangers whacking it with a shampoo bottle up their ass (any aides are welcome, remember) is going to make one more aware of safe sex. What are they going to talk about? “How does that feel? Do you like that? Does what you’re doing feel good?” “Yeah, it feels great!” – what the hell else would it feel like? You’re masturbating for goodness sake!

    It’s a bit of a publicity stunt… the sponsors are admitting. That’s the perfect example of what we call an understatement. The entire thing is a publicity stunt! How many of you out there would actually ask the businesses you work for to sponsor you in this event? “I’ll be able to gain points based on how many times I orgasm.” You would tell your manager. Great. That could be considered sexual harassment just trying to get someone to sponsor you. Kinda like, “I’ll give you a dollar for every mile you run in the cancer marathon.” Only this time they’ll pay you to cum? This just keeps getting better and better. The visuals alone are making my head hurt.

    Still, in this day and age, I get so very little time alone with my spouse for the purpose of sex, or even any time for myself. This may be a great opportunity to do what I keep putting off, blow off some steam from work day stress, and meet new and exciting people who like to masturbate. I’m sure it’s just me looking at this thing in the wrong light. So come and join me, and we can talk about our hobbies and children while we pound our pud. I’m sure once everyone gains this deep an understanding through awareness, instead of inviting friends and coworkers over for a beer and a movie, we’ll just sit around stroking ourselves and discuss technique!

  • Three Dots

    Hi. How are you? Currently surrounded by aromatic first, second and third hand cigar somke, posting because women swoon on my every word.

    This post is going to be in the style of a stream-of-consciences/three dot format because that’s the only way to make sense of what I am about to say. Here goes.

    Sixty hour plus work weeks suck…last week and this week and probably next week…still looking for guest posters…concerning schedules, Monday is a worldwide celebration, Wednesday will feature a viewing of World Trade Center circa 1900 and Thursday will be an evening of consuming adult beverages starting at Friday’s at 1900…school is a go, will post more coherently on this topic later…

    Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest has surpassed The Passion of the Christ in worldwide receipts…in fact, the entire table is fascinating…added Big Fish(IMDB, Amazon), and The Big Lebowski(IMDB, Amazon) to the collection…also purchased Beyond the Sea (IMDB, Amazon) but I won’t be adding it to the collection. Perhaps there will be reviews of these movies in the near future.

    Due to upcoming events and perhaps subconsciously by Howton’s post, but I went cigar shopping today. Bought a Kahlua (which is too sweet but great for puffing on because it is way too mild), a Maker’s Mark, a Helix (my buddy likes ‘em so I thought I’d try something a bit different; didn’t go for the tubular like he does though) and an Ashton. Perhaps the aficionado in the audience can ask the right questions to extract the details…

    Wanted to cover last weeks’ topics as well as revise The Thirty-five Undeniable Truths but it is too late for that. I will give you my opinion though: I think that Buckley was straight on, i.e. Bush isn’t going to be leaving a legacy to speak of, especially for his replacement, though that’s not exactly a bad thing. It’s more a winning the real war vs. the PR war anyway, ergo, Buckley was straight on with his comment

    If you had a European prime minister who had experienced what we’ve experienced, it would be expected he would retire or resign…

    I think it [the Bush administration] has been engulfed by Iraq, by which I mean that no other subject interests anybody other than Iraq. The continued tumult in Iraq has overwhelmed what perspectives one might otherwise have entertained with respect to, well, other parts of the Mideast, with respect to Iran in particular.

    Hillary’s asinine mumblings:

    You know, to paraphrase the historic 1992 campaign, it’s the American dream, stupid.

    This is supposed to be the smartest woman in the world and the best politician to boot, yet she demeans the rest of the world for not being as smart as her? Let me get this straight: we’re too dumb to figure out her campaign, so she has to dumb it down for us and immediately resort to name calling? How childishly obtuse!

    With all due respect, rich people did not make America great. Someone like me gets a big tax cut when I don’t really need it.

    Folks, I’m stumped on this one. I don’t get it. I just don’t. While the argument is for another time and a dedicated post, if it weren’t for the rich, this country would go nowhere, but that’s not even the point. Here’s my question: how will rich Hillary Rodham Rodham make the country great if she is elected president (of which I am very dubious of that outcome.)? In other words, if she’s so rich, and the rich don’t make the country great, how will the country benefit from her becoming president? According to her, we won’t.

    The whole thing is just classless! She’s only saying this for the PR. The truth of the matter is, neither her nor Bill can shut up about how much money they have. All this really is an attempt to stir up class envy. For the record, let’s take a look at what Bill and Hillary have said, shall we?

    Bill

    The Republicans used to be so mean to Hillary and me, but ever since we got out and started making money, we’re the most important people in America to them. I myself have gotten four tax cuts. We depend on Japan, China, the United Kingdom, Saudi Arabia, and Korea, to loan us money every day of the year to cover my tax cut. I never talked to anybody, Republican or Democrat, in my maximum tax bracket, who believes in this stuff.

    Hillary

    We have gone forward with not only huge tax cuts for the wealthiest among us. Of course, since my husband’s making money, we’re in that category.

    You gotta check this out.

    There were other thoughts on other matters, but I have forgotten them

    Topics to cover in the near future: Walmart, Xanga Features, Dan and my ideal woman. Stay tuned.

    I am still looking for guest posters. If you would like to guest post, email me from the link on the left with your post idea. We will return to your regularly scheduled blogging experience soon.