November 18, 2006
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Stories from the Past
This has been a good week, but alas, it is coming to an end.
I once had a professor here at UAH who, on the first day of class would always tell the same story. While going over his syllabus, he would get to the late policy and say “I have a simple late policy. It ain’t. It’s not fair to you and it’s not fair to me. I have to teach six classes plus work on my doctorate and it’s not fair to you that someone gets to turn something in late and still get credit for it.”
Then he would proceed with one of my favorite stories by saying, “There’s an exception to every rule.” The story goes that one bright kid tried to turn work in late. Tony looked at him like he was crazy and said, “Man, you know I don’t accept late work. Why are you trying to turn that in?” (Now you must understand that UAH is fifteen miles or so from the State line of Tennessee.) The kid replied, “I know Tony, but you don’t understand. I had to go to Tennessee to get my parents out of jail!”
Tony was blowed. He would always end this little anecdote by saying, “If you can top that excuse, I’ll let you turn it in late.” Suffice it to say that in fifteen years of teaching, that excuse has never been topped.
***************My best friend’s dad is a dentist. He had a professor for several of his classes. This particular professor thought he had a sense of humor, so at the end of every lecture, his last slide was that of Goya’s The Reclining Nude.
When this slide came up, the professor would emphatically shout GOYA! which was an acronym for Get Off Your Ass!
***************Lastly, since Disney’s gotten in trouble again and again because the word “sex” usually appears in swirls of dust or stars in their children’s cartoons, Pixar in their newest movie have used computers to randomly generate this effect. Unfortunately on the first run of the new software the phrase Eat my ass, Disney was observed in a generated cloud. Back to the drawing board I suppose.
Comments (10)
*laughs* Good storys Tomas.
I love the last one the best I think. Since I’m almost certain you told me about the first one previously, possibly the second one. *grins*
I would love to GOMA but… being sick throws a money wrench into my plans.
I find those very amusing, hehehe. Thanks for making me smile today
Yeah, that last story was a real work of art.
ya think?
Brilliant to the last.
My favorite story is of the professor who called end of test, and all the students filed to his desk and stacked their papers one atop the other before exiting the classroom. There was one last student who was still working on his. The professor cleared his throat in the now-empty classroom and the student brought his paper forward to place it atop the others. “Sorry,” the professor said, “I called time. You failed.” The student eyeballs him, then asks, “You can’t say that to me, do you have any idea who I am?”
“Not a clue.” The professor says.
“Good.” Says the student. And he places his paper in the middle of the stack and walks off.
freakin’ sweet!
Haha! *grins* Funny stuff.
Miss Beatrice, the parish organist was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.
One afternoon the priest came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.
As he sat facing her Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom! When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat.
The priest tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist. “Miss Beatrice”, he said, “I wonder if you would tell me about this?”, pointing to the bowl.
“Oh yes”, she replied, “I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven’t had the flu all winter”.
Funny stories!! When the alarm goes off at 4:30 a.m., does this mean I just need to say GOYA to Brian to get him moving? He’d still tell me, “just 5 more minutes” . . . .
Terri