Who put the “Where is my Precioussss?” note on my fridge (the one on the bottom of the page)? Ditto that question for the message “Sexy Time –Borat”.

You’ve heard it here first, ex-President Gerald Ford has died.

The investment group eyed the entrepreneur with caution, their expressions flickering from skepticism to intrigue and back again.

“Your bold plan holds promise” their spokesman conceded. “But it is costly and entirely speculative. Our mathematicians mistrust your figures. Why should we entrust our money into your hands? What do you know that we do not know?”

“For one thing,” he replied, “I know how to balance an egg on it’s point without outside support. Do you?” And with that, the entrepreneur reached into his satchel and delicately withdrew a fresh hen’s egg. He handed over the egg to the financial tycoons, who passed it amongst themselves trying to carry out the simple task. At last they gave up. In exasperation they declared, “What you ask is impossible! No man can balance an egg on its point.”

So the entrepreneur took back the egg from the annoyed businessmen and placed it upon the fine oak table, holding it so that its point faced down. Lightly but firmly, he pushed down on the egg with just enough force to crush in its bottom about half an inch. When he took his hand away, the egg stood there on its own, somewhat messy, but definitely balanced. “Was that impossible?” he asked.

“It’s just a trick,” cried the businessmen. “Once you know how, anyone can do it.”

“True enough” came the retort. “But the same can be said for anything. Before you know how, it seems an impossibility. Once the way is revealed, it’s so simple that you wonder why you never thought of it that way before. Let me show you that easy way, so others may follow. Will you trust me?”

Eventually convinced that this entrepreneur might possibly have something to show them, the skeptical venture capatalists funded his project. From the tiny Andalusina port of Palos de Moguer set forth the Nina, the Pinta and the Santa Maria led by an entrerepenuer with a slighly borken egg and his own ideas: Christopher Coumbus.

Many have since followed.

–Excerpted from Perl Cookbook, Second Edition by Tom Christiansen and Nathan Torkington

Nabbed from Eric’s site: The Amazing Death Predicter

At age 29 you will refuse to give a quarter to a beggar. Immediately afterwards you will be hit by a bus.

Today I learned a way to make broccoli and asparagus that is going to make me go to the store and buy some to cook here at the house. Today was the second day of training at Terrynova’s. (The restaurant that I’ve been telling and telling and telling you about.)

Got mom a great gift the other day. Spent too much money. Have to pick it up on Thursday. Christmas is definitely going to be different this year. I don’t know if we’re even getting together. Dad has to work and I know I’m having to work late Christmas Eve and possibly Christmas as well.

Everyone needs to go wish LivingIsEasy joy and peace.

Life is about to get busy at half the price. I want empowerment and stability, damnit!

Final Thoughts and updates
I had dinner with a very beautiful, enchanting, wholesome young lady tonight. Exhilarating!

The Chinese character for “strife” is represented by two women under one roof.