April 16, 2008
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Don’t Know Much About History
It’s amazing that at almost 23 years of age I have no clue who I am.
I’ve been researching the Civil Rights movement for two scripts I’m working on. Though I haven’t had the time to put into the project like i would like, I have found that I’m enjoying the research and learning new things. Maybe it’s because it’s recent history, maybe it’s because I’ve been to Birmingham and so I know where the events took place, but I’m finding I’m enjoying the research.
Stephen came over the other night to pick up some a DVD I had for him. We got to talking and he told me about Martin Luther’s anti-Semitism. I had no idea that the Father of the Reformation would have such things to say about Jews.
Something else I’ve been doing a lot of research on is WW II, particularly the Nazis. I find it fascinating that not only did they so throughly plan how they were going to accomplish their objectives, but also the thoroughness with which they accomplished their executed those objectives.
I have a project that I’ve wanted to work on for years. It’s a big ensemble story about the first six months of WW II. There are a lot of things that I don’t know that I would have to research before I could even think about making that film. In fact, I don’t think I’ll get to make it until much later in life. Hopefully the world won’t be too far gone for that film when I do make it.
I’ve been thinking about going back to school lately. No, I’m not going back, at least not while I owe money. But I think about what I would major in and the only thing I can think of is math, film or history. Now to go to a real film school costs real money, but the past couple of days I’ve spent wondering if I could do a history degree. I know that I’m not too fond of Church history because the art work is too flat for my taste pre-reformation, but what I find fascinating is not what people do, but why the do it.
I don’t know that I’d be able to focus long enough for a history degree, but it’s something worth thinking about and taking a few classes in outside of the required general eds.
Maybe my calling isn’t to be any one particular thing but to absorb as much as I can. I’ve always flirted with being a professional student.
I need a swift kick in the pants pointing me in the direction that I’m going to live my life instead of waiting for it to unfold. Yes, I’ve always preached that the journey is more important then the destination, but I’ve got to do something and would really like to know what that something is. Putting in 60+ hours a week plus between two jobs isn’t the most fun I’ve ever had. I don’t mind the work; I enjoy the income. But I wished I could consolidate down to 40 a week leaving me time as a single person to work on some of my side projects and hobbies.
Comments (23)
Hey don’t feel too bad. I know people in their 40′s and 50′s who still have no idea who they are. It’s a difficult task, trying to figure yourself out. One I’m still working on as well.
I love history. It has never been dull or dry to me even when I’ve had the most boring teachers and professors. I love psychology too, so when I look at history I can’t help but think about how their minds were working…their motives, and what prompted them to do what they did, etc. Maybe that’s what gives history that extra “oompf” for me
I hope that you can find that little niche in life soon. Although I must admit, being a professional student is something I wish I could be forever
You’re only 23? Wow, I always thought you were older than me. In just a month, I’ll be the riping old age of 25. Time to imvest in a walker…
ryc: I just know where to look for them
@Vivi_Kitty -
Would you be more inclined to go out with me (had I asked) if you thought I was younger or older?
And it’s true, I do think on a plane far beyond most people our age, but then again, there aren’t too many people our age that are mature these days.
I like the idea of having a degree in math, not sure what *you* would want to do with it, but I like it.
Anyway, back to my original reason for browsing… ryc: herschel. google him. dissociative identity disorder. like sybil. your comment(s) on my blahgishness. oh, nevermind. =)
@mahz -
So this guy’s psycho or something and you think I am too?
I would never type that, I would merely poke fun at those contradictory comments with a herschel comparison. =)
@mahz -
So I’m psycho?
Thanks for the comments on my Cat Macros. Drop in again sometime.
@October27 -
Drop in sometime.
Will do.
a big ensemble story about the first six months of WW II – sounds like something i’d like.
@curtainsopen -
If you want to know what story I want to adapt, take a look at The Twilight of Courage (I prefer the hardback).
ryc: well then it’s a promise
@Vivi_Kitty -
I look forward to it.
thanks fo the book tip. i’ll take em whenever i can get em
are you a screenwriter?
good luck making your important life decisions.
not all film schools are too expensive. if you find a good technical school do a pretty good job of filling the need. at least the people i know who are going to tech schools say so.
maybe they lie so other people will make the same mistake they did.
@TearsKeepAFalling -
I’m an aspiring screenwriter, yes. Currently, I work tech support, but I hate where I’m wedged at my company.
There’s a local community college that has a track on photography, both still and motion. If I’m still in town when I get my camera, I’ll go there for training if I don’t teach myself first.
P.S. Thanks for stopping by. I have a protected post going up in a few minutes and I’m adding you to my protected list because having perused your blog earlier today, I think you might find it a bit encouraging, though a I warn you, it’s long as hell.
Sorry to disappoint…but if I change my mind and decide to become polyamorous you will be the first I notify. lol
I don’t know who I am…I’m in the young adult age bracket, too (21…holllaaaa!). When I thought about who I would be when I’m 21, it wasn’t a big ball of confusion. I’ve also come to the conclusion that maybe the idea of knowing who you are…maybe that’s all it is. An idea. Growth doesn’t just stop once you become an adult and are out in the “real world”. Cognitive changes are constantly going on. We’re constantly reevaluating ourselves.
I do know who I WON’T be…I DON’T want to be a professional student. I like school but I don’t. It feels like a constant state of limbo!
@honeybises -
Sorry to disappoint…but if I change my mind and decide to become polyamorous you will be the first I notify. lol
I will have my other wives bake you a cake to mark the occasion.
I don’t know who I am
WHO ARE YOU?
I’m in the young adult age bracket
Is there such a thing as an old adult bracket?
21…holllaaaa!
I’ll buy you lots of alcohol as a belated birthday present. Girl’s 21 birthdays rule!
I’ve also come to the conclusion that maybe the idea of knowing who you are…maybe that’s all it is. An idea.
Isn’t it ironic? The person that we spend the most time with we don’t even know, and no, I’m not referring to significant others.
Growth doesn’t just stop once you become an adult and are out in the “real world”.
I am a student of the School of Hard Knocks where there are no degrees because there are no graduates because the learning never ceases. In this regard I am truly a professional student.
cognitive changes are constantly going on. We’re constantly reevaluating ourselves.
It’s like ehowton says: “The things I did as a teen I thought were stupid when I was 20. The things I did at 20 I thought were stupid when I turned 30.”
I do know who I WON’T be…I DON’T want to be a professional student. I like school but I don’t. It feels like a constant state of limbo!
You’ll be glad to be out of school for a little bit, but then you will yearn to go back. It’s like someone once said, “There are two great tragedies in life. The first is when we don’t get what we want. The second is when we do.”
@ProfessorTom -
I’m sure I will always want what I don’t have. I’m human.
And I appreciate the gesture, but I actually don’t enjoy drinking. I enjoy having the ability to buy one drink if I want. That’s about it, though. I blame it on my acid reflux. Acid reflux at 21. I’m so old.
Also, I’m not sure if you rented the Futurama movie…but if you haven’t, don’t waste two hours of your life. I’m not sure what the writes were thinking.
*writers
@honeybises -
So you mean I can’t get you drunk and turn you into a stripper? Damnit to hell!
@honeybises -
You can now edit comments on Xanga, but only on sites that have themes and only for 15 minutes. I complained about this on their announcment page and acya was nice enough to listen and respond. Nevertheless, we are stuck with this retarded, non-orthogonal way of doing things until the gods smile down upon us.
@ProfessorTom -
Nope. I was in a social sorority and then quit once I was initiated (the secret is that I’m a lifetime member now so I can put it on my grad app HAHA!). But I think that says something. Not the lifestyle for me!
And yeah, I saw that. Oh well. I should be sharper about looking over my comments before submitting them, anyway.