July 1, 2008

• Rubi Give Ruby a Lesson

  Ruby had heard about a princess walrus on another ice shelf halfway around the world named Rubi. Rubi’s fame and beauty was well known the globe around. Ruby wanted to be beautiful and graceful like Rubi was rumored to be, despite Ruby’s lack of natural beauty and clumsy nature. So Ruby had an idea: she’d write Rubi a letter!

  Rubi wrote Ruby back with many words and told her many things to do. “First” Rubi wrote, “You must be vain and flaunt your beauty. Give up nothing, that’s your duty! Righteous hatred you must claim for those who would seek your fame.” Wrote Rubi, “A new song is a must, your tired old tune has begun rust.” And with that, Rubi concluded her letter:

  I am woman, hear me roar
  I am woman, not a whore!

  Ruby tried to be vain, but this gained her no points. Ruby sang the new song, but crooned no lovers. Meanwhile, Rubi sat in her palace thinking “My God, what a ditz!”

  As for Banjo, it turned out that he wasn’t a musician at all. In fact, he couldn’t play any instrument. He was a scientist performing an experiment collecting data on walruses. He published his results and never returned to the ice shelf.

  

  The events depicted in this work are fiction. Any resemblance to real persons living or dead is coincidence. No similarity to actual persons living or dead is intended or should be inferred. ©2008 schpydurx. All rights reserved.

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