How did we ever get to the place were this doesn’t happen anymore?

President Pertini of Italy arrived–1st visit to U.S. He’s 84 and a terrific old gentleman. We had the full ceremony under a warm sum. GOd meeting. He loves America–very touching moment on the way into the White House He paused by the Marine holding our flag and kissed it.

Everyone, may I please have your attention? I have an announcement to make.

I thought this day would never come. I thought that somehow WE would prevail, that there were at least ten righteous men left in the city. This no longer appears to be the case. I believe that judgement is about to be poured out.

For this reason, I am left no choice but to support Obama.

I know that many of you are now shouting at your computer screens: “TURNCOAT! TURNCOAT“. Please allow me to explain the rationale behind my decision.

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The past couple of days at work haven’t been busy, packed or insane, they’ve been steady. Not too much and maybe a tad too little. This is the way it should be when you’re about to take a vacation. Two days left, then I have eight days off. Woohoo!

Yes, today make a trifecta of celebrities that have died. Boo hoo. No, Jeff Goldblum is not dead.

I wasn’t feeling like going into my part-time job this evening, so I took my time when I got home. Finally, I called to see how busy it was and they said they’d be ok without me. I’m sure I”ll regret it next paycheck and probably ought not not go in, but damnit, it sure does feel good to have that kind of control. If only I could get my book deal to go through.

So after I called out, I called Mom so I’d have someone to talk to for a few minutes. Turns out she was on her way into town. She wanted to go buy a camera. She wound up with a Nikon Coolpix S550. The price of the Nikon D60 with the 18-55mm f/3.5-5.6G AF-S DX VR and 55-200mm f/4-5.6G ED IF AF-S DX VR Zoom-Nikkor Lenses along with a case and two DVDs from Nikon (woohoo!) for $750+ tax. For $350 more, I can get three free annual cleanings of the body, sensor and lenses as well as a guaranteed replacement if they camera is unrepairable. I think this is a great deal, if only I had the money.

After we looked at cameras, I finally got Mom to go into the Apple store. She isn’t ready to buy, but I think I’ve definitely planted the seeds of doubt. I’m trying to talk her into a 24″ iMac. Let’s hope.

While my Netflix tactic didn’t quite work, Mom is getting a 6Mbps connection like I previously told her too. I’m not happy it’s through Bellsouth (one of Ma Bell’s 80′s anti-trust breakups) but I do know someone in Madison who has the same service. I have to say that while I didn’t put it through its paces, it was pretty damn quick. So I look forward to testing this out during my vacation.

We then had dinner and I was finally able to have a serious conversation with Mom since she was by herself. What relief. I think I’ve talked some sense into her (other than showing her she needs to get away from the Dark Side). If she shows up at the Independence Day Tea Party, I’ll know I got through to her.

Mom finally realized just how anti-socail I am and noted that I would end up old and lonely. No shit. Being sociable costs money I don’t have!

My guest today is an old co-worker from Domiho’s. He was always a cool guy to hang around even though trouble always seemed to find him. I recently saw him on Facebook and learned that he had since deployed to Iraq where this post was written.

Please welcome Drew Wallburg!

Hey everyone. Today while I should have been paying dear attention I had a bit of a revelation… I can fix the prison system!!! It is easier than A, B, Life Sentence! I am less concerned with the nonviolent offenders, but I have a solution for them as well. Lets climb the ladder.

Nonviolent repeat offenders: Many people fuck up. God knows I have. What I havent done is get busted. Especially not repeatedly. Several years ago there was a kid tagging cars in Singapore. He got busted. Do you know what the Singapore officials did? They whipped that ass! The officials threw the little bastard in jail overnight and the next day began 10 lashes from a cane. The kid passed out afte 4. Did they finish? About as much as you did the first time your parents caught you spanking your pecker… not at all. They threw the kid BACK in jail and the next morning finished off. Public disgrace mixed with physical retribution is effective. How effective? Very goddamnit.
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For father’s day, I got my dad a copy of Neal Boortz’s book The Fair Tax Book: Saying Goodbye to the Income Tax and the IRS and a Netflix subscription. Both have ulterior motives.

I hope that with the The Fair Tax I can persuade my dad to become more involved in politics on all levels.

The Netflix account has many goals and ramifications, one of which is classified. First of all, I want them to feel the Netflix experience. Secondly, I wanted to bring some movies into their conciseness that they would not otherwise have been made aware of. As they do not have internet access at the house (for reasons I cannot go into) and I am currently both paying for and managing their account, I hope to spur them into getting said access supplied quickly so they can take over their account. Of course, my luck will be that they drive ten minutes into town and try to manage it from the library.

hotair.com is reporting that Nixon allegedly said (in so many words) “We [Republicans] need hot women.”

I think Nixon is absolutely right. I’ll tell you why: people support attractive people. Don’t believe me? I’ll give you an example.
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Netflix knows how to serve its customers. I know because I am one, so please allow me to heap praise on them.

Recently, I have been turned on to the British car show Top Gear by a coworker. Sadly, only Season 10 is available via Amazon and Netflix, but you can Seasons 11 & 12 via iTunes (which I have done and already watched.) So I had the first DVD of Season 10 from Netflix and gave it to whester after I was through with it so I could get him hooked on the show.

When he mailed the DVD back, I noticed that Disc 2 had a short wait. Ok, that’s cool, whatever. I wasn’t worried about it. Interestingly, Netflix decided to skip the third disc which was available, which is worth commenting on in and of itself. I know it doesn’t take a lot of programming to skip the rest of a series, but I think it is cool that someone at Netflix had the foresight to say, “Hey, if someone is watching a DVD series/boxset through us and the next disc isn’t available, it’s not going to make sense to send them the next available disc because they are going to miss all that content in the middle.

But that isn’t what I wanted to tell you.

I checked my email to see when the DVDs would ship and low, I had an email from Netflix, but it wasn’t telling me that they had shipped or received. They had sent me an email saying:

Shipping Update

Dear Tomas,

Top Gear: Series 10: Disc 2 was not available from your local shipping center. Fortunately, it was available from a shipping center in another part of the country. It’s on its way and should arrive within 3 to 5 days.

You’ll notice we also recently sent the next available DVD from your Queue to enjoy while Top Gear: Series 10: Disc 2 makes its way to you.

Your Queue now shows this extra DVD rental. Enjoy.

-The Netflix Team

I thought that was pretty damned cool and wanted to tell Netflix so. I searched and searched their site for a way to send them an email saying, “Hey, you know how to treat your customers right. I appreciate it and wanted to tell you ‘Keep up the good job.’”

So I called and told them instead.

This isn’t the first time they’ve done something like this either. I don’t think I blogged about this, but one holiday (I think it was Thanksgiving) I really, really wanted to watch The Eagle Has Landed. I bought the film when I first moved into the apartment, but I lent it out to a co-worker who had never returned it. I hadn’t watched it in over a year and was really jonesing to watch the film; this was around the time I bought the score as well as the novel. I couldn’t find any place in town that had the DVD for rent or sale. Desperate, I added the DVD to the top of my queue. There was no way I could really expect to get the DVD before the holiday anyway, but I had to try. I called Netflix and asked them if I upgraded my plan to the four-at-a-time (I do the three-at-a-time) if they could at least ship it the same day. She said that they could, but here’s the coolest part: she said I didn’t need to upgrade but rather she could have the DVD sent out complimentary!

Just last night, I made the comment to cmd_keen that Apple was the only company that made me want to rush out and give them my money because the entire experience felt so good, but upon reflection, I need to correct that statement. I love Netflix just as much. They dazzle me with their customer care as well as their selection and efficiency. All in all, I have to say, the experience of being a Netflix customer is pretty damn cool.

Japan strikes again, bringing us one step closer to living The Jetsons lifestyle on a daily basis. This time, they have invented a robotic table, the idea being that you can use a remote control to deliver food and drink via the robot.

I think this is a bad, backwards idea.

People choose one bar over another because of the wait staff. This robot is not sexy. You can’t flirt with a robot. A robot won’t give you free drinks (unless, of course, you figure out some way to hack it on the fly, but then why are you in the bar in the first place? You’re too nerdy to be here.) You can’t seduce the bot into bed and you can’t play grab ass with it.

I took a quick survey of my co-workers. They seem to think that robots like this would be more cost efficient in the long run. I don’t see how that would be the case. When the robot breaks down, you have to pay a technician big bucks to fix it or pay full price to replace it. True, you don’t have to tip a robot, but that means that the bar can raise their prices on the drinks to compensate. Robots may be more reliable than some stupid girl who’s trying to get laid or score some smack, but robots can’t adapt to situations such as blocked paths, specialty orders not already pre-programmed, etc. Robots are impersonal.

While this may be a milestone in robotics and breakthrough in making something automated being able to balance its weight not unlike a human being, at the end of the day, once the novelty wears off, I think that most bar hoppers will want flesh and blood that they can interact and be fresh with and wish for the bot only when the waitress is ugly.

I’ve never liked Steve Ballmer and have always thought of him as an entertainer rather than a serious entrepreneur. But when I read the following article from zdnet, I wanted to send him a bouquet of flowers to show my gratitude:

Ballmer Gives Obama a Lesson in Economics: Corporations Don’t Just Absorb Taxes, They Change Their Behavior

While Ron Howard’s latest excursion into the religious surreal is, without question, a high-tension, fast-paced thriller, Angels & Demons is, nevertheless, created with human hands–and the flaws show. Though Dan Brown attempted to pass himself off as an intellectual atheist on a mission with The DaVinci Code, receiving praise and accolades from today’s so-called progressives, Angels & Demons reveals Mr. Brown as a lowly writer because Angels & Demons fits together too conveniently, ultimately leaving the audience saying, “Of course that couldn’t have happened! It’s just a movie.”

THe main contrast between Angels & Demons and DaVinci Code is that Angels & Demons is very respectful to religion in general and Catholics specifically whereas DaVinci Code is purely atheistic volley designed to destroy Christendom.

Ewan McGregor was perfectly cast as Camerlengo. Everything about McGregor’s performance, yes, even his accent is perfectly executed. You feel the little boy trying to come out of the thirty-something year old man–the taught humility fighting the powerlust while the whole time being in awe of the very power being veraciously juggled. Ayelet Zurer does a wonderful job playing second fiddle to Tom Hanks’ leading Professor Robert Langdon. Pierfrancesco Favino and Stellan Skarsgård hold their weight as supporting actors supplying exposition. Armin Mueller-Stahl adds a human element, reminiscent of a wise grandfather that knows when and how to say “no.”

Tom Hanks was paid “the highest salary ever paid to an actor” to reprise his role as professor Langdon just days before the announcement came that Johnny Depp was being signed to Pirates of the Caribbean 4 for the even higher salary of $56 million. Is Hanks worth the dough? His name might be, but it takes at least two viewings to appreciate his performance. On the initial viewing, there are too many times when you felt you were looking at an actor who was doing the best he could with the material he was handed.

For example, in order to execute a plot twist, Hanks had to pull the rabbit out of the hat with an “oh, I wonder if…” Granted, this may not all be Akiva Goldsmith’s fault. I wouldn’t be the first to call Goldsmith a hack, but having not read the book and being told the twist in the book was executed similarly, I’m not sure who’s at fault. Perhaps this is the lowest common denominator floating to the top and the blame ultimately belongs to Dan Brown.

Regardless, director Ron Howard puts together a piece of entertainment that does indeed distract the audience from “the man behind the curtain.” Howard’s biggest disservice to the story is making the guilty too innocent thus raising suspicions almost immediately when the film begins. Howard also needs to reign in his DP Salvatore Totino. There are enough spinning shots of the Large Hadron Collider in the beginning of the film to give one motion sickness watching the film on the big screen. For those self-proclaimed film buffs out there, at least one shot of the LHC is reminiscent of the shot in Apollo 13 of the spark of electricity that ultimately causes the oxygen tanks to blow up.

Speaking of reminiscent, Hans Zimmer’s Angels & Demons score pays much tribute to the DaVinci Code‘s track Chevaliers De Sangreal. Indeed, the last track of the album 503 heard in the film over the credit roll is a fuller but shorter orchestral rendition of Chevaliers De Sangreal. Joshua Bell’s absolutely sublime violin work is featured prominently on several tracks and serves the score much like a favorite easy chair at the end of a long day. The score starts energetic, then proceeds to become the aural battle of Heaven vs. Hell as fought on earth. Indeed, the track Science and Religion is selfless, altruistic sacrifice as personified with sound waves. The keen listener will note a breath of a phrase from Hannibal and the percussion through the album is a tribute to John Powell’s Bourne Ultimatum.

Whether Dan Brown got his facts straight or not, one thing is for sure: Angels & Demons will do for Art History–particularly Rome’s–what Watchmen did for turning the younger generation on to 60′s & 70′s music. The sudden interest in art, architecture and Catholic procedure and history should not come as a surprise. After all, the film’s message is “Faith is a gift we [intellectuals] have not yet received”…but we keep searching for the Truth.

Last night I was out of pocket in a super secret location. The location was so secret and so remote that even my staff couldn’t get ahold of me. (Technically, that wasn’t due to lack of reception as much as it was I wasn’t answering my phone.) I wound up spending the night (not intentional) and flew back up the interstate this morning.

Yesterday we reached a high of 97 degrees Fahrenheit six degrees above the predicted 91 degrees. Suffice it to say that both last night and this morning, I was driving with all the windows down including my sunroof.

Since I knew I wouldn’t be long, I rolled up my windows when I got back to my humble abode but I left my sunroof open so the car can ventilate. I was inside no more than 20 minutes.

I hopped in the car eager to go into work and be a shining star. Even though last night was cut short due to a late departure time, it was still refreshing, invigorating and inspiring, so much so that I have authored my Angels & Demons review which will be released later today after a bit of clean up, fact checking and name plugging. (Alas, my super secret location was without and Internet connection.)

When I went to get out of my car upon arriving at work, I couldn’t leave the seat. Something stringy ands sticky on my lower back was preventing me from doing so. It appeared that one of the little brats that were waiting for me at my front door decided to throw their bubble gum in my car. I was NOT HAPPY about this at all.

graciously scraped off the gum that was sticking to my clothes as it was in a region I couldn’t reach and really couldn’t effectively clean at work. I then went to get the other half of the piece off of the lower back of the driver’s seat.

I had several ideas of what to do with these little vandals which I shall not commit to this blog. But that isn’t what set me off. It was when I went to get my briefcase from the back seat that I found the second piece of gum. Thankfully, it didn’t have anything to really stick to. But this act of vandalism and thievery has.

I think these young criminals ought to have to pay for a new change of clothes, the car to be shampooed, the time wasted at work not being able to do my job as well as the matching taxes and benefits my employer has to pay. And I think they should have a vandalism charge on their criminal record.

I’m considering calling DHS and telling them to come pick up the kids because they are riding their bikes on the four lane in front of the apartment complex while their parents/guardians negligently sit on their ass watching Oprah.