December 13, 2005

• My Name is George Baily

  I have come to a conclusion: the two film characters I can identify with most is George Baily and the Titanic. Why the Titanic? Because I feel as though my only purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others. Why George Baily? Because it seems that no matter what I do, I’m trapped doing the same old thing that I was doing ten years ago. I’m still toying with computers, but I’m not a true hacker because I lack the appropriate amount of skilz to consider myself to be one. For example, I should be well-versed in *nixen but alas, I am not. I can code, but what worthwhile tool or program have I produced? I should know how to crack networks and be familiar enough with TCP/IP and related protocols that I should be able to write my own network exploitation suit. Or Hell’s bells, even be able to write a halfway decent GUI. But I have not.

  Film too is problematic. Spielberg directed his first movie when he was 13. By 15, he had a 30 minute feature in the can. By 18 he had a 140 minute feature in the can. Was it good? Can’t say, never seen it. Comment on difference between me and him in a moment. By 22 he’d directed a Movie for TV…Colombo no less. So by 22 he firmly had his career path established. When he was 26, the movie that would push him over the top, Jaws debuted. He started early early early and has been all the better for it. I mean, he didn’t waste all that time like I have. I’m 20.5 and what credits do I have to my name? Being AD on a shoot for a trailer that didn’t follow the story of the movie that it was supposed to be representing and a small commercial that probably no one has actually seen because it is all being run @ 0300. Ok, so I did edit something on the Cornerstone DVD, but because I lost the first half of it and because there are glitches in windows, the damned thing skips like it’s a Tony Scott film. Except it isn’t. And it doesn’t look good. And it sux!

  Now then, the difference between Steven Spielberg and me is that in his early years he wasn’t afraid to release something that had flaws in it. I on the other hand want everything done right and want it done right the first time. Perhaps this is a major (but certainly not the only) factor in why I don’t have more credits to my name.

  Please note that I’m note that the only reason I’m obsessed with credits isn’t to have the ability to wave it in somebody else’s face; rather, it’s having the ability to say, “I do have the credentials to work on this project. I want to work on it, I’ve been successful in the past, I have the money to pay for it my own self, so it’s mine to make.”

  The weekend
  This weekend was horrible. Don’t remember too much about Friday or Saturday, other than I took my mope and eat buddy out to eat for the umpteenth millionth time. Earlier that week, we’d dined at O’le Hidleburg. This weekend we went to Red Lobster. It had become apparent to a good friend of mine that mope and eat buddy has been just using me for quite some time. If not that, I was letting myself be used by indulging a champagne taste on a beer pocketbook. In fact, 75% of the balance on my credit cards is where I paid for both our meals. At first, I didn’t mind because it was under control and he was suffering from relationship problems. I at least thought that it was a good idea. But towards the end, it became apparent even to me that all we were doing was spending money that I didn’t have.

  Earlier on this blog, you were told that currently I am jobless. This remains the case. (more on that in a bit.) The point is the night I quit, my neighbor went to fill in for me at Godaweful establishment. When he tried to leave work that night, the battery had died. Spendmymoneybuddy and I had just returned from Red Lobster. When informed about the situation I called up Spendmymoneybuddy. He didn’t want to jump it off until in the morning, even though he’s an insomniac like the rest of us. The last time I saw him was when we jumped the car. I told him I’d take him out to our local haunt one more time for auld lang sine, but the schedule got a little weird. Days and nights started running together. Sleep patterns were non-existent other than I didn’t sleep.

  Stayed up all day Saturday and Sunday. Could feel that strep/mono shit coming back which I’m currently nursing. Had a job interview yesterday. The GM has the final say and wasn’t in yesterday, so…Woke up this morning ready to die. Nose all whacked and dry/sore throat. I could get Dad to call something in, but what would be the point? Got some stuff he gave me a while back. Gonna use it till it’s gone. Maybe by the time I wake up tomorrow this will be gone. But history says I’ll suffer for a week. I need to find a job. But I can’t go like this. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

  The Screening
  What made for an entire pissy day/weekend was the Screening. As I said, didn’t sleep Saturday night, so I went to the great town of Oneonta—eh. We arrived extremely late as Stephen had pushed things to the last minute. Upon arriving, we discover that there isn’t a handy DVD player. Upon reflection, I think that the church had one, but there wasn’t time to find out/piddle with trying to get into the storage closet.

  Headed for the house because I told them that I needed to pick some stuff up anyway and I figured I could nab the player from the house. When I got there, it was locked. Went by OCOG to nab a DVD player from there. Elisabeth handed me one. When I get back to Cornerstone

  Stephen

  Did you get the remote?

  me

  No. Why?

  Stephen

  Just follow me.

  On the way to Walmart, he explains that he needs the remote to peruse the menus and such. Otherwise, there would be no go on making a presentation. We run in, buy a DVD player which we intended to take back and batteries. Then to Radio Shack for needed cables/adapters. In all, I think I spent about $60.

  We get back to Cornerstone and service is just letting out. I frantically search for 2 1/4″ cables. Then power. Getting everything connected. Checking levels. Toney (the guy who taught me everything I know about sound) kept running after me telling me to calm down. It was just like old times.

  That wasn’t the only thing that was just like old times. What was also like old times was everyone wanting to placate. Me wanting to do my job and talk to no one. Me ignoring the placations making things happen.

  Ultimately, we snuck the DVD to the usher and his cat. No one stayed. Several families had recitals to attend, so that was understandable, but still. The only people who stayed the entire length was Jesse and his folks and missionary Mike Taylor. I had thought that the original Mrs. Right had left, but 75% of the way through she showed up and was highly interested. As soon as it was all over, I hastily tore everything down. She was asking Stephen where he’d had things printed, how much did it cost, etc. etc. She was the only one who showed real interest besides just wanting her something for nothing. Apparently, there’s a Russia reunion planned for the 28th that I have already decided that I will not be in attendance. This would be the official debut.

  Frankly, I think that besides my existence, this was the biggest waste of time I’ve ever been involved in. No one cared. And to top it off, I got some really bad news this weekend.

  Bad news goes here
  Bumped into Sunni. She said that the Pub Board won’t meet until after classes resume next semester. You could tell she was really disappointed with me. I am disappointed with me.

  I’m still jobless and sick.

  I did the whole alienation thing to my parents again. I told them that while I’d be in town I couldn’t attend their play that evening unless they were going to carry me back to Huntsvegas. Walked in the house after the flop was all over to return the DVD player that we never used and pick up the CDs that I had left from last visit. Walked out the door with them begging and pleading for me to stay, knowing full well they weren’t going to give me a lift back home. The whole thing was a mess. I should have never went Sunday.

  To top it off, I got word of how a certain person’s weeding went off. This is a son of a prominent Cornerstone Church member. His mother had commissioned Jesse to do either two or three different videography projects for the weeding. We kept trying to get the weeding, but to no avail. Jesse told me that there was someone there who taped the wedding from the balcony with no zoom lens and using only the shotgun on the camera to mic. Bastard! We’re betting he charges them a grand and that it will be just the footage: no post production work, no menus, no color adjustment, no nothing. Hell, we could have done that for a fourth of the cost, it still would have been better, and we’d be clicking our heels all the way to the bank. I hope they hate every frame of it and feel like the got ripped off.

  Then to piss me off even more, I find out that someone tapped the play at Mom and Dad’s church, put it on DVD and sold it. Fucking bastards! Oh yeah, a potential client in Cullman just made a DVD too. Remember the big bids that I kept talking about a couple of months back? That was with the Etowah Youth Symphony Orchestra (EYSO). We thought we were going to get two concerts. The idea was that we’d come in and do a professional job. I don’t mean just professional for us or the great State of Alabama. I mean professional even on Hollywood standards. We were going to have commentary tracks and professionally duplicate. My plan was to take the DVDs from there and go to Cullman to persuade this potential client to do the same, albeit on a smaller scale. But they (EYSO) turned us down so I never made it to Cullman.

  The thing that pisses me off about all of this is that people who don’t know what the fuck they’re doing are making shitloads of money doing what we can do professionally. So now, just because someone has a camera (and we’re talking one of those shitty $400 jobs, not the $4000 that we’re about to drop for the XL-2 notwithstanding being in possession of an XL-1) and a copy of Windows movie maker, they think that they’ve got a new cottage industry. Well fuck that! I haven’t wasted my life to be counted with the peasants who derogate what me and my colleagues strive so hard to perfect.

  This is exactly the reason that I hate Microsoft. They’ve helped raise a generation of people who think they know what they’re doing because they can point and click. It’s great for technology to be in the hands of the people. But assholes who don’t give a shit about the medium just give people like Stephen, Jesse, and myself a bad name. While we strive to make sure that things come out right and stay true to the artistic vision, many more are clogging the tubes. No wonder Episode III made so much Goddamned money! People don’t demand excellence anymore. They just want to be amused. Well, fuck them! Why don’t we all go back to fucking ENIAC? It worked.

  I had a conversation with someone a while back and the comment was made that they wouldn’t be surprised to see vinyl come back into style because it was “cool”. People, we keep going forward for a reason. I don’t get it. I just don’t. Sometimes I think it’d been better off if I were never born, thus completing my earlier remarks about knowing that my name is George Baily.

  • 6:29 pm
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